


Despair Can Hide the Dawn ... Until We Find the Light of Love Within

by Luv_Makes_U_Strong



Category: ASTRO - Fandom, Alternate Reality - Fandom, Kim Nam Joon (RM) fandom, Rowoon fandom, sci-fi and Kpop
Genre: F/M, M/M, No Subatomic Aliens have contacted Humanity, Not Canon Compliant, Other, space travel- alternate universe Kpop training and peforming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-01-29 15:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21412708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luv_Makes_U_Strong/pseuds/Luv_Makes_U_Strong
Summary: Concepts, ideas, miracles, dreams, and souls sluice through the universe …  at all times what does it mean to Love ?  Energy connects and forces separate us.  Mysteries are opened and new understandings emerge.  Life is precious but uncertain.  Can human beings grasp the unexpected gifts from the Universe?
Relationships: friends and family and extraterrestrials, friendships among members, human and ALien Subatomic Being, symbiosis between Alien and human





	1. Intergalactyic Bubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herein we meet our human and alien friends with whom we will share a moment of their lives.

"Inside the soul Love must be nurtured, this is an obvious concept to some, but a mystery to many." Third Filament :notes on human development, Andromeda Galaxy...Text 175 Travelers Library 

**Of course it was deep dark, Butterfly thought to himself, as one by one all five phones roused the sleepy boys. In fact, dawn was hours away in wintry Seoul, and as usual they crawled tiredly from their warm blanket cocoons in the unheated room. Dorms for DEM trainees had all heat turned off at midnight and turned back on at 6 a.m. Each boy rummaged for his thermos to sip once hot tea from last night, to dress, brush teeth, and make themselves presentable. Sounds of scores of feet pounding on linoleum meant the rush was on to reach their practice rooms at least a kilometer away across and through the web of buildings that compromised their "campus'. Late arrivals were fined so Rosie, and Shorty smashed themselves through the doorway laughing and cursing each other, followed by Eun Woo and Brainy, and lastly, shivering as he fumbled on his shoes, himself - Butterfly- Jonghyun.**

**Two hours later at half past 6, some warmth from Tai Chi and Martial Arts training had begun to thaw hands and fingers. Their stomachs growled hungrily; breakfast was still an hour away. Rush to the next classes. Together with many other trainees, they settled at tables in a large warming classroom; the groups all recited yesterday's English vocabulary, and then wrote down whatever the British teacher indicated on the white board. Time passed slowly during English conversation time. Raps on knuckles punished mispronunciations or poor diction, and after an interminable period of attempted conversation, they could move on.**

**Trainees rushed to set up for their morning meal. Rattling trolleys brought food on metal trays. The soup was tepid, vegetables over cooked, servers had skimped on rice, and there was only tofu and no warm meat. Lastly they had some sliced oranges, a little sour, but still eating was the best part of any day. They were always hungry. Big Brain's sister said they burned two or three times the calories offered at the two provided meals. According to their contracts, this cost was deducted from future earnings, with interest. In fact all the expenses of training them were itemized on the DEM contracts signed at age 15, when training began. Even their pittance handed out at month's end for the purchasing of toiletries, practice shoes, and personal items, like snacks, from the company of course, was carefully noted on those contracts.**

**Butterfly chewed his breakfast thoughtfully recalling his favorite snacks : dried pollock, American style chips, chocolates and ice cream. Childhood memories of fried chicken and pizza seemed at times, like dreams. Then the large group of teens pitched in together and cleaned the classroom of any edible detritus. Junghyun pushe damp dark hair off his forehead knowing the day had hardly begun. And it was time for voice and instrumental music practice, Maths, manners for members of DEM, then lunch and half an hour to clean assigned areas. The rest of the day was a blur of more academic classes, and then dance practice, dance practice, dance practice. Every other day was the same.**

**It was dark now, well past dusk, not that any one of them had seen the outdoors all day, and in this dance practice room, the five of them were damp with exhaustion. Dance Practice Room D, was filled with tension as one or the other of the team kept missing a beat or a step. Encouraging but weary looks were exchanged among them. They attempted to show respect to the two important men presently scowling at them. Those two important faces registered only bitter disappointment. Never a patient man, today the choreographer was the more unhappy of the two. He was relieving his frustrations by 'chewing out' the dance instructor. Now that dance instructor's ears were reddening to match his choleric disposition. He paced around them tapping his stick on the floor as he kept time to the music. Music on, tap, tap, tap, tap. Music off. Angrily instructions were incised into the breathless air of the room. **

As sweat ran into his eyes Butterfly wondered who wanted this session to end most of all? Could it be Shorty whose coordination was off, having just grown another one and a half centimeters, or Woobie, equally gangly? Big Brain was meekly receiving most of the negative commentary, and surely he was praying to both Buddha and Jesus for this misery to end. Music on, tap, tap, tap, ...whack! At this point the stick began missing the floor and tapping limbs that missed a beat, and Butterfly, trainee from the southern coast, was catching most of the blows. 

**Music on. Music off ...tap, tap, tap... whack! Unbelievably they went over the three minute pattern of steps again, and again, and the stick was really stinging now, and Butterfly was biting his lower lip. Rosie's left eyelid was twitching madly. Shorty's long limbs had begun to tremble, and still that little monster wrung a succession of re-dos out of them. Then Shorty tr**ipped over Rosie's feet, and both fell against him, Butterfly, and down they went. Temporarily losing his senses, the teacher began viciously kicking the boys. Brainy tried **unsuccessfully **to cover all three of them.

Shorty called out, "No". Woobie grabbed his cellphone from his sweatshirt as all five raised their voices in distress**. Then **s**uddenly the choreographer sulked off for an Americano. Exploding in frustration, their instructor let them know exactly how inadequate, clumsy, lazy, talentless, and low born they were. **

*******

**Inside the pod She thought slowly. Of course her training had dictated slow rational thinking while in transit. But she wondered about the energy supply for this tiny vessel. Would the available power run out before journey's end? Star Cluster texts described few such incidents, but fear was not data based. There were checklists to mentally focus on and complete. This she did and anxiety ebbed away.**

**Surrounded in warm softness; she imagined what her speed through open space might be right now, and envisioned her craft. In her mind the bubble tiny as it was flew straight and true having left her galaxy far beyond and entered this unknown one. She flew as fast as light through apparently empty darkness punctuated by distant fragments of starlight. To gauge her current velocity, she was trying to remember the initial rate of acceleration. She could almost see the formula in her mind. What she recalled most vividly was the enormous feeling of pressure at the beginning of this flight. Strange. Trying harder she remembered bits of texts, and the voices of the assistants to the Learners, a bit of shared thinking, shared songs, and the feel of the bubble's exterior membrane. Yes, departure, increasing momentum, and then.. journeying into the vastness of the universe. Hmmm, had she been afraid at her starting point, a bit of trepidation, then excitement and the thrill of adventure, and so her reflections went.**

**Listening intently to the music, palpably beautiful music she saw the wisdom of the builders of their crafts for encapsulating melodies were indeed companionable. Always reassuring and so multi-hued embracing her and still leaving room for possible responses to navigational changes or alterations of travel mode. How long had she been moving through space and time in this seemingly fragile capsule? Were the other travelers contemplating many things too? Darkness as a concept seemed now to be an illusion outside her capsule of colors, for outside they were moving among and between the infinite filaments of non-visible energy. Was her future a blankness waiting to be filled? a book to be written?**

**Blues cocooned her softly; there was no discomfort, only velocity... distance... and singing of rainbows of interior lights. Hues here were harmonies in harmonies, interwoven across visible and invisable Light but within her mind only not watched visually. This vocal and instrumental spectrum stretched from before into now. Even infrareds glowed within her thoughts. Images emerged then blurred, transformed like Language, and so it went.**

**What is becomes what was, she thought slowly, can I touch these colors or stroke these tone, is there any ''one or many " things to focus upon? Is this neuronal stimulation from a source within this capsule but outside my consciousness? Is this experience? What ' never was' for me is growing into an' Is'. I feel pressure building again... ... …, and building. Somehow I feel my travels are ending. What will be after ending? Then she was aware of heaviness growing in the music: the melody was pushing her down; this depth became measurable. Her velocity was no longer smooth but halting. With a jerk, all stopped. The membrane ruptured. She was cast out and into a living being.**

***

** Brainy had thrown himself over Butterfly, Shorty, and Rosie. All four of them had absorbed Teacher Mo's momentary insanity. Holding his cell phone and taking photos, Woobie intervened by screaming "fire!" Dance teacher Mo stopped mid-kick. **

**"What fire?"**

**Woobie reached for Butterfly and Brainy's hands and hauled them to their feet. As one Rosie and Shorty sprang up too . Then all five of them turned and ran for the door, which thankfully burst open at that moment. An assistant manager came in shouting questions about all the hullabaloo. But the shell-shocked trainees did not hang around to discuss their grievances. Like a clot in a torn artery they burst into the doorway and somehow squeezed through. Down the maze of narrow hallways the five boys pelted. Shorty had his arm under Butterfly's shoulder and half-lifted, half-dragged him. When they reached the heavy outer doors they unhesitatingly pushed through together. Then they almost fell, scrambling pell-mell onto the rain slick pavement. Beginning to walk, no, jog faster, they exchanged frantic comments expressing their fear of capture and punishment. "Can't you run any faster?!.' "Run faster!" admonished Brainy.**

**"How can I run faster, I'm supporting Butterfly". Shorty panted as he ran.**

**As the five friend rushed along the sidewalks getting wetter and wetter while the rain increased, Brainy spoke again. "Time for a plan, teammates," he murmured.**

**Without pausing** Rosie **asked** if **an**yone had any money at all. Sadly no one did. But they kept going. "All right then; let's head for your Noona's study dorm, "Rosie croaked.

"Wait! **A**re any of you using any of your grey matter here?" asked Eun **Woo..."Last** time that we only called Joon's Noona she blistered our ears, and threatened to call his parents."

"Aigoo! We have to go somewhere. Where else we can go penniless as we are," Brainy and Rosie replied together. "And have you noticed our Butterfly is bleeding down his ankle and onto the street?"

****

So this was End and Beginning thought the Traveler. Her eyes opened involuntarily and she gazed out of this Lifeform's faceted eyes. There had been a jolt as all the bubble's movement stopped, followed by her immediately melding with and then greeting another consciousness. Its concerns were decidedly limited. ' So this is living? And how huge this creature is?' Her previous comfort was replaced by a tsunami of sensation: hardness underneath, heat from within her enormous form, and an awareness of something so horrifyingly unpleasant… actual sounds, or maybe the word "noise". Her ability to think was being choked, suffocated by repeated explosions of loud sounds. Solidity of form she now possessed, textures could be perceived, tissues were contracting and expanding, smells of all kinds assailed her, more sounds: loud, soft, and confused. But worst of all there were so many sights: shapes, colors and forms all around her. This is me functioning in a chemically based organism - so much materiality. Overwhelming her attempts at comprehension now, was the message ' Move!', which she somehow just felt, and she opened her wings and flew. My conscious self, my "I am" is joined with a member of Phylum Lepidoptera of Planet Earth, she mused. Air carried her higher, then dropped her as she moved those huge wings to stay aloft.

She spotted a blur and thought to herself that she did not know any thing at all about this situation. How can these tissues feel so much? She forced the eyes and optic nerves to work and her brain to make sense of what appeared. The shapes and colors below began to coalesce into meaningful form. Coherence won. 'There', she thought, ' is my goal, my purpose for traveling so many Light Years across the universe. There is my chosen One, my Other'. 

" I am here for Thee," she whispered if that was what butterflies did. As she watched, those even bigger beings stopped, and made her chosen one "sit", yes, sit. Down she flew and alighted upon his forehead. Such peace she felt now that she was in action. Bidding the insect goodbye, she merged with the boy's conscious mind.

He was bewildered, but there was volition possible here. "Can we work together?" she thought to him. He was moving his head now, looking for her.

"Are you invisible? Are you a ghost? an angel?" His thoughts were racing, heart beating faster. She was aware of the complexity of his form. The communication process would take time, but she felt from him that there was no time to spare. Fixedly the four other human beings focused on the shimmering emerald and sea blue butterfly perched on their companion's brow. They were frozen by the otherworldly sight of this beautiful creature resolutely opening and closing its wings despite the steady rain.

***

"With me"... she thought to him and together they reached ou**t a limb and its many boned useful appendage to grasp the nearest lifeform. Gracefully the butterfly lifted off and disappeared into the falling rain. Rosie was half-holding Jonghyun who was gasping for air and half standing. She reached out to the human boy and together they struggled together to speak in human words. **

**"Please help me, Hyung", his lips moved as air whooshed, vocal chords vibrated... and she was beside him in the most amazing way. **

**Now the Traveler, a female of her species, marveled to him at the miracle of human speech. They stood fully, leaning on Rosie, and she thought how hard this surface is beneath our extremities. It was "wet" with the rain that had streaked through greasy puddles on the street and was now strangely forming weird rainbows of reflected lights.**As the group pulled her-him in, she observed them more consciously. They were slim and strong, and in their last part of growth - adolescence it was called. Their eyes were brown and their hair naturally dark. Words in their language flowed to her in his mind describing them : friends, teammates, trainees, boys, brothers in life. Memories had leaked as she began with** him engage in standing, and continued as she did the running thing with him. It was far more complex and difficult than flying as an insect had been. Concentrate on his muscles, tendons and so on, she thought. Intuitively she felt his futile attempts at discovering the meaning of what was happening. She relaxed her mind into his images and concepts. He ran with his friends shivering from "cold and shock". This body needs warmth, liquids and food quickly or neither of us will be able to direct these ligaments, muscles, and nerves.**

Cold rain sleeted down on their lightly clad selves. Butterfly clung to the long armed Shorty and to slender but surprisingly strong Rosie. "Hyungs, … hyungs," Butterfly stammered. 

***

Terminology tumbled into the traveler's thinking. ' Streets', and 'rain', and 'running' for what they were doing with th**eir 'legs'. "Traffic sounds' shook her as each seemed louder than the previous one. Now the one called Brainy drew up to them and reached his arm around her waist; the burden of movement eased. "Bleeding'' and 'weak' became meaningful terms, as did 'shivering' and 'stumbling'. Surrounded by so many humans 'huddled' underneath colorful 'umbrellas' on the 'wet streets of Seoul' the vocalizations: roars, squeas etc. became mind-numbing. Suddenly seeing bright human-made lights, and feeling pain up and running down his/her legs - all this stimuli begin to whirl and blink and rush until blessed darkness and blankness took 'her '- 'him out of consciousness and the puzzle of connection.**


	2. Home is a six letter word -sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Big Brain's sister, his noona, who follows 20th C. Earth - American Poet Laureate Robert Frost's admonition concerning family.

"The reason Travelers study the human heart or as we call it, their Soul, is because Travelers are whole beings not given to fragmenting the Self as humans are." Third Filament :Section XXIV : notes on Traveler Training ... text 187, 105th New Galactic Millennia |\|/

**Nam Joon's sister was nodding off despite her interest in the Idol sports events competition. Sipping her cooling tea, she wondered how long after debuting early next year, it would take his group to attain sufficient success to be among those idols delighting Korean audiences with archery, sprinting, wrestling and other competitive sports. "Could my book-worm brother learn a sport?' she wondered. Suddenly her com-screen came to life, and a buzzer alerted her that she had company. Sleepily she shuffled to the screen to better view her callers. "Noona, Noona, Noona, Noona", frantically chorused her bedraggled brother and his teammates. "Please, please, please let us in", quavered their weary voices. **

**Reaching for her hoody, she buzzed them in and sighed as the door closed behind her. As she made her way down in the elevator, she hoped Buddha appreciated her immediate acceptance of these five punks. Something must be terribly wrong for them to be here on such a foul cold rainy night. As the elevator doors opened she was greeted by quite an unusual sight. There before her stood five boys dripping rivulets of rain water on the lobby floor. Their hair dribbled onto wet faces, sodden clothes clung to their thin bodies, a bruise was blooming on her brother's left cheekbone, and most wore bloody socks blood leaking down from above their ankles. She bit off her snarky comment cleverly prepared on the way down, and simply pulled them inside.**

**Back on her floor she had them pause at the doorway to the boys' communal showers, and dashed off to fetch towels, clothes, and toiletries. Any thing else she thought of, she begged from friends along the corridors. Fortunately her department Sunbae was a compassionate soul and accompanied her back to where the five had draped themseves pitifully against the walls, and even on the floor. **

**"Leave them to me, Seul Arah; why don't you go to our shared kitchen and make them some Rameyeon."**

**As she sped down the hall, he shepherded them into the warmth of the bath room. Fifteen minutes later they sat at the trestle table eating like starving puppies, which, Nam Joon's sister reflected, was just what they looked like. Word had spread about their arrival and several girls had emerged with snacks and and fizzy beverages which the boys profusely thanked them for. Unconscious still of their youthful masculine beauty, their long lashed eyes cast down in embarassment sent shivers and silent sighs through the girls. When the last bowl was washed Big Brain's noona rushed them all to her room, whispering to the girls virtually glued to the handsome group that, "...they needed to talk". Resolutely she closed the door on hersoftly imploring friends. Three miserable youths now filled up her narrow bed, two stretched out on what had been floor space, so she elbowed her way next to her brother.**

**"Short version Joonie." her voice brooked no refusal.**

**"I should have gotten an ice pack for your cheek," she responded as he concluded the tale of woe. Hating to call on her Sunbae again, but dreading an invasion of 'the girls' more, she requested more of his assistance. Fortunately he assented.**

**"When i gathered their wet things, I noticed that they would probably need at least three ice packs. Do you have enough first aid supplies?" **his voice seemed to smile gently into his words.

**Brainy and Shorty began thanking her as she concluded the call, but she cut that off. " You thank my Sunbae when he gets back here; he also put your clothes on to wash, not me".**

**When he arrived, to do triage, she hustled to the laundry area to start their clothes' drying process. "When you make it big, Joonie, I want the best, most delicious dinner you can afford," she panted to herself as she trotted down the stairs to gather their trainers and put them also on to wash. Even if they complained about her throwing the shoes in the machines; she had no choice for those shoes were absolutely foul.**

**Returning, she accepted a brief hug and thanked her Sunbae again, as he just grinned at her "I would get every detail recorded before they leave tomorrow. It should not be legal to beat up a team of trainees like that", he said as they parted. **

***

** Once more seated by her brother, she looked around and wanted to ask a lot more about what had happened. Bandages sprouted on four of them, and three held ice packs gingerly to their swelling and bruising anatomies. And their heads were falling on their chins. Shorty was already asleep curled into a ball, and Butterfly had his head on Shorty's hip yawning 'til tears dribbled. Her brother had begun leaning his overly heavy head on her shoulder, as usual. 'How many times had she complained to their parents about his habit of falling asleep on her person as though she had been born to be his pillow,' she crossly reflected. Well not entirely acrimoniously, because she knew that he lived in a state of constant exhaustion. She moved her brother's head. Handsome Rosie was drooping on Eun Woo, and her brother was now beginning to lay his head on one of 'her' pillows. She yanked it out fast as light. He turned sad betrayed eyes to her. Rolling up her hoody she gave it to him as a pillow, and unbelievably he smiled. She readjusted the ice bag on his swollen ankle for him as he drifted to sleep.**

**Her phone pinged a text. "Trainers in the dryers, smiley emoji". She was going to treat Sunbae to delivery pizza very soon. **

***

**Looking around at her overcrowded room Seul-Aro felt her heart squeeze. 'When did these boys become so dear to her?' Even her annoyingly know-it-all brother was so precious in her heart. Woobie now had his head on her feet, of course; she slid them out carefully. It was difficult arranging herself for sleep, eventually she fell asleep next to her brother. Knowing them, they would all wake well before dawn.**


	3. All Will Be Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adapting and learning … this new partnership begins

"Light is. Energy is. Transformation into matter is. Where there was Darkness now Light has come." 

Songs of the Travelers Volume 719 Pod G **Vii**

**His thoughts were slow now. Emerging from the small soma or nerve cell where she had been hiding, she flowed through dendrites and neurons only slightly illuminated. Purposefully The Traveler observed but did not disturb any activity within his brain, Butterfly's brain - Jonghyun's brain. Intrigued by the physical complexity that immersed her, she let herself flow into motor activities, but as his sleep deepened his motions stopped. This sleep paralysis is a splendid evolutionary protection for his being, she reflected and slipped into the autonomic function center. As he began to dream she watched and listened, acutely aware of the processes at play. Riskily she accessed some of his recent memories, because this was vital to her mission.**

**Communications with other humans, complex movements set to their music, a jumble of emotions and there - his underlying emotional state. Butterfly lived in constant anxiety and apprehension. Although he yearned for secure emotional and interpersonal bonds, he was adrift and felt abandoned. This would take more data to understand and deal with later, preferably together with him. Despite the beautiful sounds of his singing, he did not perceive its quality nor how profoundly touched others around him were when he let his feelings emerge through his voice. Images of cowering child figures dominated his self-image. Instead of perceiving the muscular slim grace of his movements, he saw distorted, misshapen, and disproportionate extremities. His face could not meet the ideal of masculine beauty he carried within him. So day after day a pall of discouragement and imminent failure dogged almost every action and thought. He hugged others and made statements to cause laughter, but could not reach out for the balm he needed, or the reassurance of worth he yearned to hear.**

**Bright spots in his daily life came when Butterfly interacted with his teammates and fellow trainees, especially a long haired black eyed girl somewhat older than himself. Our Traveler was fascinated by how easily he accepted her images of himself while they talked or laughed. How happy he was when engaged in small relief bringing escapades with her or/and mischief. But he did not keep her Good Words inside his memories, discarding her positive images of him as 'her kindness' to a basically unlovable soul. Flutters of words for his feelings for the black-eyed girl now emerged in his mind, interspersed with poetry, lyrics, snatches of melody, drawings and paintings. **

**Withdrawing into her own consciousness for an interval of time The Traveler internalized all she had just learned. Very very clearly now she saw her mission her on this far flung planet in this spiral galaxy - left as he was, Junghyun would never achieve and fulfill his potential. Depression fueled by his extremely unrealistic and low view of him self would defeat him. In a short march of years, she realized he would give up on his dreams, discarding the miracle that he was. His mental pain was already too severe for one so young. Since societal intervention and remediation had not developed in this human 'country' on this little peninsula, she was quite sure she was here to be the catalytic agent facilitating this youngling male human to transform himself, and to claim his life proudly and gladly.**

***

Rowoon stretched his long legs right into Moon Bin, who pushed back, shoving Ro right onto the ground, only that floor was presently occupied by NamJoon, who startled awake. Brainy behaved in a rather unintelligent way now shouting loudly enough to be heard clearly all the fifteen or so miles to the border with the North. Seul Arah cursed them all. Inwardly she hoped that sleep would overwhelm them again, giving her a little more peace. But no, no, that was not the way it played. Her brother's eyes found her clock and with a voice of warning he started shaking everyone awake. Of course, she had to go fetch their things from the communal laundry. Returning she found them quarreling over who would call DEM. Naturally, she thought to herself in the early, early-morning, I have to take charge. 

**"Aigoo! Stop talking all of you. Here is what you are going to do." Noona inhaled deeply and continued, " You will do these things that I say and you will not awaken everyone on this floor as you do them. Firstly, photograph every cut, scratch, red mark, and bruise on your persons, … not your own Moon Bin, each help the other but save the pics on your own phones and also mine, for safety's sake. Next, each of you take some of my paper and write out what happened during the practice session. No, Eun Woo do not consult each other. It will be more believable if there are some differences. Also, each of you state how long you think Butterfly was unconscious or out of it - whatever."**

**She stepped out to give them privacy and to make a lot of tea. Girls who scarcely said hello to her were emerging into the hallway smiling sweetly and carrying { "Thank you Jesus and Buddha"} packages of Rameyon, instant noodle cups, cookies, assorted pieces of fruit and instant coffee packets. Unbelievably the girls were also taking up a collection for cab fare. They were including their contact information on encouraging notes in case the boys wanted to personally thank each and every one of them. Of course all the girls would keep phones very close for the next forty or so days awaiting a response.**

**Slowly the five trickled down the hallway carrying shoes and sheepishly sat where Noona's hallmates pointed. Predictably, they were ravenous. Politely, the beautifully made-up and combed-out girls pressed the cab fare and various personal notes into their hands. Shyly the boys commenced much awkward bowing and thanking, until all at once NamJoon announced they had better get going. Two seconds or so later, his sister was trapped at the table while the other girls asked question after question. **

***

**Settling into the cab, the team was silent. No one knew what kind of Doom awaited. Tentatively The Traveler reached out to Butterfly, just a gentle interior bump. Since a thousand, no, a hundred thoughts were whirling in his mind he didn't notice her presence. "Optimum observartional mode" she commanded herself.. **

**Big Brain was the first one to break their uneasy silence. "I will speak to Mr. Kang first, and you just stand respectfully and bow when I bow. Probably he'll direct us to on of DEM's Trainee Managers. So let's all be as quiet and respectful as possible", he snapped his fingers. " Right." All nodded. When the taxi stopped they paid and circumspectly climbed out, hesitating before entering.**

**Their own Trainee Manager burst out of the door and hit NamJoon on the shoulder twice, dragging him inside.** **Rapidly he dragged all five up the stairs to the executive office floor, where DOOM undoubtedly waited. "Sit. Here. Wait." he clipped out and vanished. Pulling back Brainy's sweatshirt, Rosie snapped two pictures of the bright red marks and sent them to 'Joon's sister. She forwarded them to her Sunbae, who was preparing a file for a You Tuber he knew. From the corner of an elaborately made up eye, one of the receptionists caught on to their documenting process. She texted her HR boss. That boss texted Kang Adjussi, and the ___________ hit the volcanic explosion. Two security guards started moving menacingly their way. Trainee Manager Kang was not pleased.**

**Fortunately their fit HR boss ran every day, and although he'd come from across the suite of offices, he got to them first. "Boys, come with me please," he murmured and swiftly they did.**

**Settled into a very small room and sitting two to a wooden chair, negotiations began. HR Man read from the audio message left by Mr.Mo last night. Then HR Man quoted various reorts of their absence from the dorms. Somberly he flipped open his laptop and showed CCTV footage of their hasty exit. Only then did he see the ruckus caused by Rosie's message of about half an hour ago. Sunbae's friend had been busy on line tto. All this while The Treaveler noted rising adrenaline in Butterfly. His breathing became rapid and shallow; his blood pressure was rising. She attempted a softly voiced calmimg thought. "All will be well."**

**Butterfly rapidly swung his eyes around the room. 'Where was this voice coming from? Was he hallucinating?' Jonghyun was panicking. Traveler attempted manipulating his emotional responses. as he became more anxious she tried projecting words into his thoughts.**

**"All will be well. All will be well. All manner of things will be well". Jonghyun jumped up ... too fast for his current emotionally overloaded state it would seem. Crazily the room began spinning. The Traveler did not yet know how to control his center of balance. "Oh no" she thought and he voiced that out loud.**

**"Oh No!" cried Butterfly loudly as the HR Man looked up in distress. **

'**Could this boy have suffered some brain trauma from last night's unfortunate assault by a member of the staff here? Hadn't he as an HR professional, begged for testing to determine the emotional stability of all [!!] newly hired personnel?' thought HR man to himself. Observing that young man wobbling and swaying, the HR Man rushed forward, dropping his laptop as he grabbed hold of Butterfly. In what he hoped was a professionally concerned, and polite manner, he guided Butterfly back into, well onto his half of the wooden chair. HR Man reached into his pocket for his phone. Frantically he dialed HR's emergency number which should send a trained nurse, a social worker, and a secretary with chocolate immediately to his location. **

*******

**Silently The Traveler withdrew again into observation-only-mode. "By all the neutron stars and Black Holes how could such an over-the-top reaction have occurred?" she wondered. This human youth was full of surprises .**

**Nam Joon was carefully handing the laptop back when a soft knock on the door was followed by three more people crowding in. "Sir, maybe we should remove ourselves to a larger conference room," the velvet voiced secretary said. Now she had grabbed a thermos of hot chocolate, not the easily portable dark chocolate bars the HR Man had intended her to bring. Mugs were rattling dangerously on her tray. Leading the way to a room with an actual table and chairs for each person, the secretary improved the situation 100%. She smiled knowingly, '... what fools these directors were?' **

**With a clearing of her throat, the nurse looked around. Gazing at the variety of observable bruises and NamJoon's bandaged face, she was unsure of how HR Adjussi wanted her to proceed. After Butterfly had been indicated, she took his blood pressure, and made a notation then, took it again. Brainy texted his sister. Rowoon wished that they had advice for such situations other than to apologize, apologize, and apologize. Shouldn't there have been a way to object to being chastised and beaten while doing your very best. Hadn't their basic Human Rights been violated ?**

**Pulling out her phone, and adjusting her clipboard, the company's social worker began to interview the boys. Politely each offered her their previously written statements for her to read. Rosie showed her showed their photos taken before dawn. While the secretary was making copies of the handwritten statements, she also began pouring out soothing cups of hot chocolate. Butterfly was watching the nurse manipulate his swollen ankle when it occurred to him that things were turning out well. ' Whatever that voice is, or was, ... things are okay,' he thought to himself. 'Maybe the voice is what I thought it was yesterday, a Fairy, or Angel, or some other unknown benevolent spirit?**

** It was even stranger at this moment to hear the nurse informing HR that she was writing up a Hospital Visit order, "...Right Now!! An order for treatment of injuries caused by company personnel". This was was stranger than for him to have his own personal spirit. "Life's been sort of hard,' he reflected,' maybe it's time for the kindly spirits to drop by and make things better.'**

**"What is protocol for Jeon Li Jonghyun to be taken to hospital in the DEM van?" queried Mr.HR. **

**Nurse and social worker were putting their heads together and writing furiously. "We would like all five taken to hospital for proper care and treatment," they announced together.** HR Man swallowed and made the necessary arrangements.

"May I have some more hot chocolate?" Rosie asked eyes twinkling.


	4. Blisters Are Badges of Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our humans work to "get it right", and our alien tries to communicate without scaring her guy

**"Shared intelligence diffuses fear, and shared danger builds bonds". Intergalactic Guide to making Friends and Building Relationships, pp.302**

**All were asleep in DEM's dorm. Even junior-managers and cooks, even household staff and instructors were as deep in sleep as their trainees and debuting groups. Only Traveler was awake, actively seeking Butterfly's memories to facilitate bonding. During these last weeks since "the _incident",_ the group were back in what they called high school, taking instruction off campus there. But contrary to her expectations, the young people were not more relaxed studying away from DEM. Interactions with classmates not "in training" did not go easily for them. Some regular students avoided the boys as oddballs. Others were overly friendly, wanting an autograph from an Idol or whole group. Many simply ignored them as inferior humans. **

**Butterfly was continuously frustrated. Teachers never called on him, and he really wanted to join in discussions. No one sat with their group at lunch, and he wanted to know more aboutfellow students' lives. Other trainees didn't join them in conversations or study groups, because all of them were competing for that golden spec of public recognition. Junghyun wanted more people in his life. and among his team-mates, he was not alone. As much as Woobie and Rosie played around together, he knew from their bitter arguments that they needed a few more acquaintances to mingle and make mischief with. Brainy got so annoyed when more affluent students scorned them as "wanna-be-upper-class-types". Shorty truly scorned kids with overwhelming crushes on one or other of them. He was even more shy than usual when another student would stammer and twitch when they approached. Traveler noted as she sifted through Butterfly's memories, that these youths yearned to be ordinary boys to their fellow students. The five of them didn't catch on to the jealousy many other young people felt wishing that they too had a chance at stardom. **

**From the recesses of Butterfly's recollections, Traveler observed Nam Joon focusing so intently in classes, that he missed sitting on his chair, tripped on his shoelaces, knocked things off his desk, and generally destroyed most things around him. However, his terrific memory would show itself in quizzes and exams. Unlike her People who praised high-performing students, when 'Joon expertly analyzed a situation, or math problem, or literary reading or historical movement in beautifully expressed thoughts, he was all but dismissed. Not only students reacted jealously to his intellect, but also teachers. Woobie often experienced the same negative reaction to intellectual prowess. Suspiciously instructors scrutinized test questions, and even stood beside them while they worked. ** **Nam Joon usually seemed oblivious to their supervision in his rapt concentration. But Eun Woo would blush as teachers stared intently as he worked. Butterfly had been perplexed by that situation.**

**Rosie could pass notes totally unobserved. Rosie and Butterfly often composed fragments of lyrics in the margins of papers or hummed melodies to themselvesquitly ignored by others. But their potential Idol-scholars were treated with constant suspicion, as though it was impossible to be gifted in several areas. Butterfly knew he did not have their problems, for he did his best to keep up in Maths, but he usually did not understand equations or algorithms. And he was writing poetry and raps in a separate notebook which he kept underneath his school things. Protectively Traveler wanted to warn him in this dream-state, really she did, wanted to show him that one of the adult humans was going to snatch his weeks of work away any day now. How had he not seen those rude people taking away independent creative work from others? **

**Could she do this without another negative emotional angel/ghost episode?**

**During long winter nights while she was active, and he was not, Traveler decided to inject a warning into his deep dreaming state. Connecting a scene from a recently read Manwha, to yesterday's Maths class, she manipulated his thoughts. Craftily she created an image in his mind of his least favorite high school teacher taking away and ripping up his Rap-notebook. What Traveler did not expect was the intensity of his reaction to the dream. He awoke screaming. All the others roused instantly as well. **

**Big Brain was by his side and asked "What are you dreaming Butterfly? Is it about your dad again? Wake up. You're at DEM. It's not real. And we're all here with you."**

**Jonghyun sat up coming back to reality. Blinking, he looked around as though waiting for a grabby instructor to pop out of a doorway. "'S nothing, sorry", he mumbled, lying down again. Then he resolved to bring home his current composition book filled with raps and poetry. 'How real that dream felt!' **

**Traveler began analyzing how next to diminish the intensity of dream-state communications.**

**"You know? Didn't sound like nothing,'' commented Rosie rolling over. He punched his pillow and pulled his comforter from Woobie's grasp. "Blanket thief …" Rosie mumbled drifting back to sleep.**

**"Could have been a warning dream," mused Nam Joon. "Your unconscious mind is active as you dream, " he paused sleepily, "and sometimes your conscious mind has missed important situations or …"**

**"Thank You Dr.Freud, " chorused the others. **

**"Dr. Jung" The Brain fired back. "I am reading Jung, not Freud."**

**Oh, right," responded Rowoon slipping back to sleep. **

'**Like it matters,'**** Eun Woo thought to himself. 'Both were crazy Austrian men who lived forever ago.'**

A**fter Jonghyun was safely back in REM sleep, Traveler went back to her work and made notes about this experiment. She decided that there must be an underlying trauma in Butterfly's past which was hardwired away from both his conscious and unconscious thought processes. 'Hmmm,' she thought, "there were very many traumas both purposely forgotten, and upsettingly still present under the surface of his daily thoughts, and these recurring memories causing this Butterfly much distress'. She'd noted two badly healed bones in one of his feet as well, and a few other long ago untreated injuries that really should be seen to one of these days. At this moment she was drawn out of her reflection because Nam Joon was straightening Butterfly's covers, and pulling his sleeping mat out, carefully un-bunching it. **

**"If I were a human female," thought Traveler, " I would open my eyes slightly and give him my sweetest smile right now." And instantly she was aware of where she was, when she was, and what she was about, so she became conscious that she must not communicate her attraction to Nam Joon to Butterfly. **

***

**Even on school days the trainees awoke far before dawn to work on Martial Arts training, or Tai Chi, strength training, or Cardio. Unlike their school peers they arrived for their first classes already physically tired. Although Butterfly did doze off, as the others did, most of the time Butterfly was distracted by his unceasing hunger. Lunch was 57 minutes away, 55 minutes away … . "During the ________ dynasty ..." ** **droned the teacher, and Traveler's boy was wondering what wild boar tasted like after it had been turned over an open fire. Reluctantly she admitted it was not her task to get him to focus on his nation's history. **

**Traveler wanted to procure a larger supply of healthy food for these young males. 'How could they possibly complete their brain growth and physical development, not to mention other aspects of neuro-muscular and skeletal maturation on the measly few calories supplied by their company? ' **

**Sometimes the hours of the day passed quickly, and after all their classes and activities they climbed aboard public transport back to DEM Entertainment. Rather than studying, or doing homework though, they were back in a studio practicing their debut routine. Traveler knew when Butterfly's feet and legs were overworked. Their days were very long. Today's practices were going well, Traveler noted. All five were on beat, and no one was off key. At the end of the run-through the guys bumped fists. Smiles came out as they mopped damp foreheads. Expecting some positive feedback, they turned toward their coach. "Well, FishFaces, now that your feet and legs are making progress, let's see you begin to put emotion in this performance!" he ground out. Crestfallen, the group respectfully ran through the routines again.**

**An hour later, The Brain fell to the floor. He pulled off a shoe to try to deal with his bleeding blisters. Rosie volunteered that they had a huge essay to complete for tomorrow. Their instructor was beginning to say a few choice things about them when the chimes for end** ** of practice rang. Shorty and Butterfly gave Nam Joon a hand up. **

** Wearily they dragged themselves to the showers. ** Af**terward, damp, and sleepy, Butterfly, Brainy, Shorty, Rosie and Woobie rummaged through their food locker for their late night dinner. Traveler noticed that laptops were open, and of course Nam Joon was already typing. "We have three packets of cookies, some dried shrimp, two apples, and** …" Rosie said as he tossed toilet paper rolls aside, and discovered half a box of cereal. A cheer went up. They divided the food evenly and got to work, for lights out was thirty-three minutes away

"Somehow" thought Traveler ever so gently to Jonghyun, "more food must be procured". Amazingly he did not jump, jerk, or cry out, and as he looked around surreptitiously all he saw were his equally tired friends smiling wearily at him.


	5. Not "Hello, Goodby" but "Hello, Hello!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Traveler realizes that human taste buds are miraculous. Another attempt to introduce herself to Junghyun goes awry.

**"Humanity is unaware of the composition of the vast majority of the Universe..."Traveler's Log, Fourteenth day of visit. **

**This day had started like all the previous ones. All trainees rose hours before dawn for Tai Chi, Martial Arts, and personal physical strength and flexibilty training. But today a cardio workout of running, tennis, basketball or skipping rope led them to shower time. NAM joon was borrowing bad-aids from everyone. Today schools were closed and the largest breakfast of the week was served. Bowls of rice were full, soup was delicious flavored with shrimp and even a bit of seaweed. Sometimes a meat and vegetable dish followed ... then tea. Today the Traveler was synced to experience what Butterfly did, so she felt the muscle aches and tendon strains of overused regions. **

**However this was her first shared meal experience. Every sip, bite, chew, and swallow was an explosion of flavors. Her emotional response astonished her. 'Could she really be experiencing something so intense?'**

**Butterfly himself could feel her pleasure without recognizing it as separate from himself, and wondered why everything he ate made him so happy just now. This incredibly joyous savoring of each and every morsel totally surprised him, as he was often in such a hurry that he was indifferent to how tasty a dish was, as long as it satisfied his hunger.**

**Big Brain smiled really widely at him. "Man, I have never seen you relish a meal so much". Rosie looked up at Nam Joon's comment, focusing on Jonghyun for the first time in hours.**

**"Are you levitating or still sitting on that chair, Butterfly?" Rosie asked. Elbowing Moonbin, he gesticulated towards Butterfly who was still so absorbed in eating that he hadn't even noticed their attention - very unusual for the sensitive Jonghyun. At the end of the table Rowoon just half-smiled.**

*****Within his deepest thoughts Butterfly could not believe what he was thinking. 'Hmmm, is this shrimp both salty and sweet? What are these crisp crunchy vegetable bits? I love these!' **

** Traveler had discovered descriptors for food and eating, and her thoughts flowed into Junghyun's conscious mind like a waterfall. As he spooned up rice, and began chewing, Traveler blissed out on the small subtleties of flavor. Butterfly relished every bite of breakfast - slowly eating and mindfully tasting every nuance of flavor. His eyes met Woobie's. it was as though he, Butterfly, had discovered some new world. Both smiled widely.**

**Observing Butterfly, Eun Woo slowed the pace of his own eating down. 'Why not take time and really taste their breakfast?' He was about to suggest this to the group when Butterfly sighed rather loudly, and all giggled. 'Needless to say, ' Eun Woo thought, we will finish last and have to scrub the tables this morning, but I guess that is all just fine with me.' Oranges were passed around. **

**Studies went well too. Maybe taking** a little more time to appreciate something did not upset the flow of the day. School projects got finished. Clothes got washed, and their room, ,tidied of the week's detritus. **Out** they went for sunshine, football, and a walk to a nearby market. They would skip the company's overpriced quick-stop store. Rosie and Woobie were tangoing **across** the lawn as Rowoon located a soccer ball. He kicked it to Butterfly and craziness ensued. At last as the first raindrops fell, laughing and sweaty they ran off to purchase some provisions. Everyone wanted something different, but at last bags in hand they dashed back to their dorm throughthte now pouring **rain.**

**Showered again, warm and happy, all pitched in preparing supper at the shared kitchen. Traveler emerged in Butterfly's consciousness to experience this bliss humans called eating once more. She was still amazed. Butterfly was so busy chatting with Brainy about favorite dishes, he barely noticed her.**

**It was a good meal and they chased Shorty back to their room. One of the Floor Managers was standing in their doorway, holding a large cabbage like it was a snake. "And where did you lot obtain this?" he sneered. "Fresh foodstuffs are forbidden in your rooms!"**

**Nam Joon sprang forward focused on retrieving the precious vegetable. "We bought it at the market. It's tomorrow's supper." Brainy was speaking mildly, but his friends recognized anger in his excessively polite tone of voice. When the 'F.M.' announced that it must be stored in the shared refrigerator, Brainy's ears went red, as well as his throat. "Thank you for the suggestion," Joon replied, taking hold of their cabbage. **

**But the 'F.M.' would not relinquish his vegetable hostage. "Excuse me, but, " yanking away the cabbage Joon said, " we purchased this ourselves for our evening meal. You know food placed in the floor's refrigerator often disappears without a please or thank you". As he concluded hestared levelly back st the glaring 'F.M.' Shorty had caught the torn leaves mid-air. Nam Joon's voice was steely. "There is no written objection against food stuffs secured in plastic bags …" he referenced dorm room regulations staring down the floor manager.**

**Rosie and Woobie replaced the now damaged green into its tossed bag. Curling his lips in a barely repressed snarl, the floor manager scrawled something on his clipboard and departed in a c**loud of indignity.

"Tomor**row is another day Scarlet," whispered Woobie to Rosie placing their 'forbidden fruit' in the food cupboard.**

**"Yes, Rhett," simpered Rosie, batting eyelashes, and saying "...as God is my witness, we will never go hungry again," totally mangling Gone With The Wind's script.**


	6. It's a Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which our five are hoping to be the chosen few to debut, and Butterfly realizes he has acquired a Symbiote.

**"Acceptance leads to relationship, which is the path to mutual understanding. Symbiotes are stronger and more fully functioning together than they were singly." Traveler's Log. Galactic Mission #62_k2900 **

**Light from this lesser star flooded this practice room since its fourth wall was made of the human's glass. Before the five young men was a wall of glassy mirrors. Two cameras recorded this sessionand the choreographer sat in a deliberately casual pose which was anything but. Butterfly,s digestive tract was roiling, so once again Traveler intruded softly into a microsecond pause in his agitated thoughts. "All will be well; all manner of things will go well."**

**Butterfly jerked as this thought slid across his consciousness, but he was getting used to his 'angel' speaking in his mind. So to forestall any more angelic transmissions he began breathing deeply, holding that breath, and slowly releasing it** **Nam Joon smiled and did the same.**

**Shorty interrupted Eun Woo's careful stretches, sharply flicking his ankle while bending himself into an impossible shape. Suddenly distracted by his friend, Woobie grimaced, about to hiss something crossly, but noticed 'Joon and Butterfly breathing in unison. 'Very strange' he thought shaking his head. ** **Just then Rosie began vocalizing stretching his vocal chords as it were. Their trainee friends came in and arranged themselves about the bamboo floor, getting ready in similar ways. **

** Butterfly began feeling calmer with Nam Joon at his side... a real friend, almost a brother. ** **Shorty smiled and winked which was a surprise for their Shy one, but then Junghyun reflected, Shorty loved performing as much as he loved playing soccer. Background music began playing which further helped them in warming up. Rosie stood ready, center front, for he was lead singer and dancer; his skills and talent awed Butterfly, now trembling slightly with insecurity. Woobie smiled his drop-dead handsome smile as he awaited the cue to begin. Brainy continued preparing very very softly, then wiped his nervous expression off his features and looked ready to rap. Butterfly breathed slowly filling his lungs.**

**He could hear what he would soon be singing in his mind, and was surprised by a real feeling of warmth. Traveler was doing all she could for him, zinging around Butterfly's brain, with him activating the bits needed, and shutting down negative emotions and circular negative thoughts. **

**Within her subatomic self she controlled far more personal processes than humans could imagine in a being so infinitesimally small. But humans could not imagine the wonders of the vast Universe. Helping this young man was as natural for her as metabolizing.**

***

** And they were beginning, Rosie leading so beautifully and strongly. Jonghyun, Rowoon, Eun Woo harmonized, then wove their singing in and around Rosie's or took the lead themselves together. Brainy rapped better and more distinctly than ever. They were "on fire"; this performance wrapped up months of practice and delivered it joyfully. Yes! Yes! Yes! This was what all the pain and hard work was about.**

**Traveler was overwhelmed by the strength of Butterfly's emotions, and carefully recorded the event in her memory. For the first time the choreographer seemed pleased. As the boys stood breathing heavily, their manager carefully reviewed the tapes just made and nodded . Happily the boys sat on the side to watch the next group. One of these two groups would go on to debut and the other would practice for three more months. In nervous silence the five boys watched the next performance.**

***

**Their anxiety ratcheted up a level. Butterfly noted every bit of footwork, every nuance of feeling, and every bit of melodious phrasing. Unmoving within Junghyun's mind** **, Traveler noted all of his conflicting emotions as he watched his fellow trainees. When that group finished, sweating, chests heaving, Butterfly's nerves grew more jangled. Minutes dragged like hours as the executives discussed the two groups. Finally they congratulated _AsTrA. "The executives were congratulating them! " _ Tears slipped from Butterfly's ducts and tracked down the contours of his face. Rosie and Woobie hugged, then hugged the other three. Out in the hall all five joined in a dancing circle of hugging, crying, and laughing.**

** ***

******* **

**Later that night while dreaming:**

**"Where am I ? When am I?" asked Butterfly gazing around the Traveler's pod. Smooth opalescent walls with no obvious seating, a huge instrument panel, and soft melody enfolded him, he turned slowly, just experiencing it all without questioning. Next to him an amorphous light, his size, flashed and was gone. This was repeated several times. "Is this some Being communicating, because I don't know how to do this? he whispered softly.**

**He felt more than heard a gentle laugh. "Hello Butterfly," he heard in his mind, although it was not his normal thinking voice. "Welcome to my ship," softly the Light Form flashed twice. "Do you feel safe here?" Jonghyun reached out toward where the light had just been. "Sorry to be making a formal introduction so late in our acquaintance, but I really frightened you before, so I waited. Your day was good, yes? So you have lots of energy for assimilating a bit of new information. Why don't you try sitting?" Flashing softly the Light Form seemed to fold itself upon the floor of the strange craft. Butterfly sat cross legged and waited. "My name is Traveler, followed by a string of our numbers too long and cumbersome for me to include now," again she glowed or blinked briefly. "My people as you might say, are, in your conceptual frame, 'Photonics', and we are presently in a craft as small as what you might call a quark." When Jonghyn gasped, he felt her quiet laugh again. "Since I am showing you myself in your dreaming state, problems of physical size do not exist." Traveler paused so that he could internalize this information.**

**"I'm dreaming, but this is somehow actually happening ?" he asked. ** **"So, you are my fairy-angel? You put thoughts in my conscious mind before? Those strange unfamiliar thoughts I had were you?" he puzzled aloud. "How can a being so small be so powerful?"**

**Again there was the laughter that moved through him like bass tones from a big speaker. "Your kind is just tasting a little of the complexity and wonders that your galaxy, indeed, the Universe possesses," she said in his mind. Somehow this new transmission brought cold reality into view and he shivered in his sleep. Warmth enveloped and penetrated mind and body as Traveler worked within his unconscious sleeping mind. Butterfly calmed and decided to listen to whatever else she would say without panic. Part of him knew he was sleeping and the first impulse to awaken from the dream popped into his thiughts, but Traveler intercepted it and spoke more. "This is the vessel in which I traveled across two galaxies to reach You. Yes, from two galaxies away my people felt that there was a need in your solar system, on its one habitable planet. We felt it not as a large civilzational movement which, of course we could only have observed with compassion for all sentient beings here, but as rather as one soul crying out in need so acute that across the breadth of Space, I felt it and was bound to come to your assistance."**

**Butterfly jerked forward' "what? What did you just think-say to me? You connected with me?" he shuddered again.**

**Another wave of warmth washed through and over him. "It must be difficult for you, Jonghyun, who have felt so isolated and alone all of your youth, to believe this, but yes, I am connected to the part of you which some humans call soul. This is your universal energy, and as you Humans are beginning to grasp with your Quantum Theory, energies can be in sync over vast distances. You and I Kim Jonghyun are 'in sync'. We are connected and always have been, because you are an exceptional human and as such have sent your feelings and dreams across time and space"**

**He was shivering both in his dream and on his sleeping mattress, and beginning to wake because he could not take in all of this information at once. Traveler allowed his conscious mind to regain control of him as he pulled himself into a tiny shaking ball. In the bunk next to his Brainy felt his sudden movement, and knew that in seconds Butterfly might begin to shout or cry as that dream worsened thus disturbing the everyone's rest. So he rose and wrapped his longer arms around his team-mate and friend and murmured soothingly. **

**"It was just a dream. Go back to sleep. Rest. We are all here for you Butterfly." Nam Joon began to rhythmically pat his teammate's back, and felt him relax, uncurl, and at last, breathe sleep's reassuring small sighs.**

***

**Deep inside herself Traveler reflected that this was a reasonably positive beginning for their relationship. She had monitored his heartrate etc. and he was sleeping peacefully now. Withdrawing from his awareness of her, she began to plan. But before she did she pondered her attraction to Nam Joon. Why did no one tell her such things might happen. She decided that Joon was an evolved human soul, perhaps for him Enlightenment would soon occur. It certainly was something to consider in her allocated personal moments.**


	7. NO means No!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herein we eavesdrop on Traveler's communication with her fellow beings. Our group discovers unpleasant facts about DEM's ways. Particularly sinister is their introduction as a group to assorted High Ranking executives of their company, who seem to have the right to sexually prey on vulnerable trainees. Media People gather there too, and the usual scenarios begin to unfold.

**"There is no automatic pleasure to be found in Truth, and Factual knowledge. Nevertheless, there is no genuine Progress, or measurable Evolutionary process without Reality //Truth //Fact based analysis and Choice." Traveler's Log //Book 2, p.1, pp.1**

**Late that same nght Miss Traveler readied her report for headquarters. Turning away from observing Butterfly, Traveler activated her command panel. Occupying one third of the wall space within the pod, musical notes filled it as the whole spectrum of her fellow beings Colors winked on and off in precise patterns. At length she heard thoughts from her commanders.**

**"Report".**

**And she did, relaying all that had occurred in the past four Earth time periods. "I am seeking advice on whether or not to reach out to the four other companions."**

**"Negative", replied the First Officer to her. "Previous attempts to work with groups of humans have been unsatisfactory. The force that connects your two souls becomes weakened, then in a moment of crisis, you two will not be able to work together."**

**"I had some difficulty explaining souls, the unique energy that all sentient beings possess to Kim Jonghyun. His species has lately developed large bureucratic institutions which distorted the information about our souls that previous partners passed on to past generations. It would seem that the lust for Power and for Controlling others exercised among members of Homo Sapiens has so polluted the concept of souls that Butterfly recoils when I attempt to inform him about our connection. He wants to believe but doubts his own ineffable inner life. When I use the term "mind" he became bewildered by the little he knows of human brain functioning. So it is a conundrum as to what terminology to use to explain our Connection."**

**"We will work on this problem among ourselves and contact you soon", responded another friend and fellow officer. "All is well."**

**"All is well," she replied. Slowly the panel dimmed. Pondering, she quieted herself as Butterfly slept dreaming of the group's debut.**

*****two days later*****

**After a long day of classes, practice, and Ramen and tangerines for supper, the boys were putting together a song of their own in their dorm room. Moonbin was singing a lyric written by Butterfly and Brainy with help from Eun Woo. Nam Joon had a syncopated beat playing on his computer and Eun Woo was using a virtual piano key board to play accompaniment. Rosie and Rowoon was moving to the rhythm as Woobie was alwhile playing. "I think it's good," Nam Joon said softly.**

**"Good? No it's great!" enthused Rosie smiling and laughing happily. He reached out and hugged his nearest team mate - Brainy, who was so surprised that he fell over.**

**"Let's do that again," announced the ever serious one from the floor. Rosie pulled him up. "Try a harmony above his melody line Butterfly, and Shorty and Woobie sing a lower harmony. "K?" Seriously Nam Joon replaced his glasses and started the drum beat again..**

**After several more rehearsals, the Flow in the room was very good. Every one of them felt that not only his own Chi was balanced and strong, but their five energies were blending creatively. Just then the LightsOut sounded. Hastily computers were shut down and cups of water fetched by Shorty. Rosie had unrolled sleeping gear and Woobie handed down pillows. Regretfully they turned their lamps off. "We did well'"whispered Rosie. "We'll sing it for the managers tomorrow and if they like it we'll have two songs for our first recording. Shivering slightly with pure happiness, he slid deep under his blanket. Naturally his feet bumped into Shorty's. It was no easy task for a 190 cm tall boy to get comfortable in a 180 cm long space. Shorty tried a diagonal stretch and bumped his feet into Woobie.**

**"Socks! Socks," whispered Eun Woo. "Those gigantic flippers are cold as ice without them. Take them away."**

**"Aishh," grumbled Shorty fumbling next to him for the demanded apparel. At length he attempted to get comfortable again. Shorty bent his knees and closed his eyes. Only now Butterfly had thrown his arm over Brainy in first stage of sleepy bliss. Shorty opened exhausted eyelids and actually moaned.**

**"No hugging," exclaimed Nam Joon under his breath flinging Butterfly's arm away in irritation. He shoved his spare pillow at Rosie, and rolled over folding his arms crossly. "Can we all just sleep now?" grumped Brainy.**

**Traveler thought to Butterfly, "bodies are a problem, aren't they?" **

**"Nnn,nnn ..." slurred Butterfly. "Space here is too small, 's all". **

**Traveler decided to decide on her own. When it came to sleeping, bathing, eating, or just being hungry and wanting to eat, bodies were a problematic distraction. Pure energy and Light was much easier for a Being. As the boys slept, she recollected the long hours after school spent getting the song and its dance right. Then she remembered Butterfly so very much wanting another of those tiny oranges, and his still hungry stomach making noises, until the companions shared those wonderful tasting sweets which took many minutes to dissolve in the mouth. Good qualities and distressing ones all mixed together were so much a part of human life. Suddeny Traveler realized the day's anxieties and stresses were coming out 'sideways' in Butterfly's first** ** dream.**

**"No, no, ... no" he actually said aloud. She dove in to work. Actually dreaming about his father's abuse of himself and siblings when intoxicated, he had transferred the purveyor of violence and recrimination to their current Manager, who in his dream was forcing them to dance barefooted on an ice covered floor in their sleepwear. "No, no..." he continued. Traveler manipulated and within the dream a beautiful iridescent Fairy appeared scooping up the drunken man and placing him in a large cocoon to sleep it off. Then the Fairy became the kind company Secretary with her tray of hot chocolate, and as they sipped, she put pre-warmed slippers on their feet. Jonghyun went on dreaming more calmly now and Traveler stayed alert in case another intervention was warranted.**

**"It's a good thing my kind doesn't need sleep" she said to herself. **

*****next morning*****

**Scowling faces indicated that the company choereographer, their manager, and assorted assistants were not delighted with the new song. Or at least that is how Rosie and Brainy interpreted them. Within Butterfly's over-anxious mind, Traveler was working to release stress relieving neurochemicals so he might think more clearly. Currently his thoughts were, "crash and burn, crash and burn, failure, failure, they hate my lyrics."**

**Brainy smoothed his face and asked directly, "What did you think of our song?" He squared his shoulders and drew himself up to his full almost six feet in height and looked down into their eyes.**

**"Writing songs is not your job!" snapped their manager. **

**But the choreogragher was furrowing his brow, "Nam Joon sit at the piano here. Eun Woo sit at that one. Can you two actually play together?"**

**"With a metronome we can," replied Brainy at once. **

**Butterfly picked up a traditional Korean drum from a corner to play the beat as well.**

**"From the top boys," ordered the head choreographer over the frown given him by their manager. And so they did the song again. **

**"It was fine." Butterfly wondered if Traveler had heard his thought.**

**"Yes it reallty was," she thought back to him. She felt his happiness as surely as an earth cat's purr.**

**"With professional arranging," intoned the choreographer now, " this could be their next number." He nodded at them slightly. "I will think about a choreography for it. Singing your own song will strengththen your debut."**

**Again the group hugged and danced in joy for a moment. Then coming back to earth they began stretching for their rehearsal of the already chosen number.**

*****later that afternoon*****

**Today had been quite a surprising day, because rather than chore-time, they had been whisked off to be measured for various types of outfits : school uniforms, hoodies and trackies, tees and jeans, and each time they had needed to do a bit of their debut performance in those clothes. Collectively they felt embarrased by the wardrobe women. An older noona looking young woman reassured them that everyone felt strange the first few times in wardrobe. Even the girls were awkward in their skivvies in front of strangers. But Traveler now knew another body problem. Indidviduals worried how they measured up to an ideal. Also there was embarrasment about disrobing and having inner legs and chests measured. Humans in this time kept themselves clothed, save bathing. Much teaching about private body parts or genitalia, had been repeated during childhood and early puberty, so this measuring process was uncomfortable, and her Butterfly was very very uncomfortable.**

**Fortunately the wardrobe work ended after an hour or so, and now clothed in the uniforms the boys were taken for their first official photo shoot. This activity took twice the time previously used, and supper was only a wish away. Stomachs rumbled more and more loudly until the photographer laughed and announced he had enogh good shots to present to company publicity officials. **

**As they were beginning to loosen ties and look for hangers for the jackets their manager appeared, informing them that they would be having dinner with company executives. Butterfly blanched, and Rosie's hands trembled slightly. Shorty stammered, "we're having d-d-d-dinner with the Big Bosses??"**

**"Of course," smiled their manager. "We've found having some snacks together makes the meet-'n'-greet go more smoothly." They looked apprehensively from one to the other.**

**On the top floor of DEM, there were many beautifully decorated rooms furnished in the latest styles. Gorgeous views of Seoul at night were visible throught wall sized windows. Softly music from the most successful of the company's groups was playing. Real waiters were passing out drinks to the gathered top brass and Board Members who lounged comfortably around the room. As they entered, the boys froze. All the way up in the elevator their manager had drilled them on appropriate etiquette, but there was so much to remember. If they flubbed a response or unwittingly said something rude, would that mistake destroy their group's chance of debuting? What if nerves caused them to choke? How does a person chew politely?**

**Traveler felt Jonghyun's overwhelming desire to run away. She wondered how the others were feeling. Before she could suggest her boy consult his friends for reassurance, the five were being passed around the room as introductions were made. One by one executives pulled them down to sit next to their revered "chaebol" selves. Butterfly found himself seated next to an elegantly dressed woman of fifty? sixty? diamonds sparkling on her fingers, and diamond studded gold drops dangling from her prfect ears. He clenched his fists in terror. "My dear," purred the older woman covering one of his hands with hers, "Relax."**

**Traveler knew Butterfly's fear had just ratcheted up five levels, and he was in danger of a most embarassing accident such as only a kindegartner would experience. Slowly he tried to pull his hand away. "Junghyun is it?" she cooed, placing a second hand over his, "how old are you dear boy?" No coherent thought formed in his mind. Traveler knew he was searching for Brainy with his eyes, undoubtedly flashing "Help".**

**In a softly lit corner facing Seoul's Han River, Eun Woo was fending off a grabby fingered middle aged executive. No help there.**

**And Nam Joon had his own troubles. He was seated beside the venerable founder and Chairman of DEM, and was holding a small sandwhich in his hand like a vial of potion ready to throw in the evil wizard's face. As Joon prepared to answerone of the the old man's questions the elder grabbed Brainy's thigh. Slowly the gnarled paw had begun sliding where it oughtn't in polite society. Nearby Rosie and Shorty saw Nam Joon's eyes grow wide as Manga eyes. His mouth flattened into a tense line. 'Uh oh,' thought Rosie. Brainy had a fierce temper when provoked. The three observing companions gasped as Brainy dropped the sandwhich to the floor. **

**He'd started responding. Delightedly the nasty man visibly squeezed inner thigh. Brainy's eyes flashed bolts of lightning. Wrenching ** ** that wretched hand off his leg, Joon shot to his feet suddenly startling the Chairman. "NO, NEVER, Not without permission!" growled Brainy. Then he stalked away like the Korean tiger he really was.**

***

**From the opposite end of the room their manager had caught just enough of this scene to drop his delicious martini. All the four other boys mumbled excuses of one sort or another and fled to Nam Joon's side. Abruptly Brainy now told the gathered folks that he and his teammates had to rise very early next day, thanked them for their hospitality, and led them out. Rather than wait for an elevator, he pushed the exit door open so hard a boom resounded. All five scarpered down the stairs to their room peeling off the jackets as they went. Twenty-two floors lower they dashed into their room slammed and barred the door with their desks and the bedding cupboard. They waited. And waited. And waited.**

**Next to the grizzled gasping elder, a magnificently garbed and groomed woman, leaned over and whispered loudly and distinctly into that age spotted ear. "So sor - ry, A - po - gee, it's a new generation now, and you and your best buddies will have to forego your nasty little habits and destructive ways," she clicked her tongue making tsking sounds. **

**Then smiling, she strolled with perfect grace to the elevator. There the managers were stabbing the button for the boys' floor. "That won't be necessary gentlemen," she demurred. "Please try to remember who now has a controlling number of shares in DEM." As the elevator doors opened she glided in with escort and bodyguard. "Elders can develop dreadful dementia," she snapped her fingers, "just like that." Beautifully inlaid doors slid shut and the managers were left gaping.**

***

**Down in their room, the boys unrolled sleep mats and lay thinking. "I guess no one's coming" announced Shorty.**

**Moon Bin gazed admiringly at 'Joon. "That was seriously the coolest thing I've ever witnessed."**

**"You were magnificent Brainy" concurred Butterfly. "I guess that's why you were given so many little grey cells." He turned and gave Joon a big smile. "You're my hero."**

"**Hug ?" they all asked at once. Then they lept on top of the protesting Joon as tickling and other hi-jinks commenced.**

"**Can we sleep now ?" their both frazzled and contented leader asked.**

**Traveler could feel new attitudes forming in her boy Butterfly. She would have so much to report next time. Butterfly was relaxing now. He and his teammates were drifting off to sleep. **


	8. Some days are like that even inthe U.S. of A.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We follow ASTRA in the next few days before they debut...Management wants a refinement of their name … what will they do?

"**Inter-Species communication is rife with iconographic, semantic, and experiential gaps." Travelers unedited log...annotation of Book 2**

**Woobie rose first as usual, removed the barricade silently, and slipped out to the communal loos. He stopped by their floor's shared kitchenette, made mugs of tea, found a tray, and padded back quietly in the pre-dawn silence back to his teammates. Groans greeted him as he nudged each one awake. Of course the tea was very welcome. Out of the pocket of last night's jacket, Moonbin pulled a small packet of English biscuits he had sequestered for this moment. Shorty smiled and said,"Rosie, you are always thinking ahead and , thank you."**

**"This is why we nicknamed you Rosie, 'Moonbeam' ", added Brainy, "because no matter what you make things better and you see the rosiest view of the future."**

**"Excuse me," interrupted Woobie, " who brought hot tea?" There was smiling and a few good-natured pats landed on Eunwoo's back. Everyone sipped and munched for a few minutes. "So, ... NamJoon, do you think there will be negative feedback today, about last night?" Woobie asked tentatively. His amazingly handsome eyes were clouded with doubt.**

**Before Brainy could reply, taciturn Butterfly responded. "Why would we receive criticism when it was that weird old man's bad behaviour that..." Several pairs of eyes widened.**

**"Don't you know who that 'weird old man' is?" asked Shorty. "He's the Chairman of the Board of DEM, our company?" He looked down and then back up shaking slightly, "not to criticize, Joonie, but one word from him, and we're out on the street, owing DEM thousands of won." His previous lopsided attempt at a confident smile collapsed into a worried frown. His eyes began to get red, because his family operated a small fried chicken restaurant and his sudden acquisition of debt would really affect them badly. He teared up.**

**Nam Joon squared his slender shoulders and gave everyone a strong half-smile. "Time for practice. Let's not invent a scenario we haven't experienced," NamJoon said briskly, folding his bed pad, and comforter. As his members followed his actions tidying their own bedclothes, Brainy added, "This not the South Korea of a decade ago. Suicides of abused idols have really shaken things up. It's a new day, for all, Trainees, and Management." The intensity of concentration and other complex cognitive activity that showed in Brainy's face quieted everyone else. If Nam Joon had reasoned this, then they should rely on his erudite thinking processes. **

**Hurriedly every one grabbed toothbrushes and facial potions and rushed off for ablutions and necessary business, smoothed their hair, put on their "I'm fine" faces and jogged off to Tai Chi. There were some whispers among other trainees, but the instruction went on as usual. Strength training followed, then cardio, then stretching and review of basic sets of dance moves. **

** Finally, showered and breakfasted, they boarded the bus for school. At school they and a group of girl trainees were having special tutorials because they needed to be back at DEM for rehearsals all afternoon, and photo sessions after a light dinner. These activities would be followed by practice interviews, and instruction in Media misdirection, a difficult but vital Idol skill. Actually sitting on the bus after lunch, four of them fell asleep.**

**"We're back," called out Nam Joon shaking Shorty slightly. One by one they stumbled out and the woke up fast. The afternoon's rehearsals were not pleasant. Both the dance and singing coaches seemed determined to take the Company's embarrassment of last night, out on them in practice. Butterfly was near tears after many caustic criticisms hit his fragile Self-Esteem hard. Traveler threw herself into brain chemistry adjustment and personally grieved for the other four who had to pull themselves together alone. Then she recalled that she was here on Earth, in this helping position because Butterfly was so vulnerable, and had so much to give his fellow humans if she could assist him through the crises of the next year or two.**

** She wondered how these experienced coaches did not realize that chipping away at their Trainees self-confidence was an ultimately self defeating activity. Most young human being easily forgot the occasional word of praise if they received seven times as many negative comments... Late at night before a performance what would a young performer be reflecting upon after hearing so many destructive, damaging criticisms.**

**Determinedly the five kept giving their best efforts, until Shorty's knee buckled, and falling he began to choke, then soundlessly wept.. As the coach raised his hand to slap him, Brainy caught that hand. Glaring furiously at Nam Joon, the veteran coach tried to wrest his arm out of their leader's grip. But NamJoon tightened his hold. Rosie pulled Shorty back to his feet and gave him a fierce hug. Now Woobie and Butterfly moved nearer. It seemed that they stood as one.**

**"Supper break," growled the coach. Brainy released his hand. They all stepped back and the coach stalked out. As Rosie pulled his friends in for a group hug, they gave a collective sigh.**

**"Udon noodle instant bowls?" asked Woobie. "For a change??" Life suddenly struck all five as absurd. Rosie held up two fingers. His stomach complained loudly about its emptiness, and Shorty giggled. "You want two bowls?" asked giggling Eun Woo. Butterfly poked the complaining stomach of his friend, who then caught him in a mock headlock as they made their way to the stairs and down to their stash of instant supper.**

*****Traveler*****

**'Why do they behave so roughly when their aim is affection?' wondered Traveler to herself measuring the positive responses Butterfly was experiencing caught in the bend of Rosie's arm. 'Why he was so happy to be half-dragged down the hall to the stairs!?' The five ran enthusiastically down many flights of steps, speculating about what vegetables the company might have put out for their consumption. Exhaustion and low blood sugar made them giddy.**

***** "Volantes ad astra super collis draconis" *****

**After two bowls of Udon noodles each, topped with fried eggs and green onions, some Kimchi, and many mugs of tea, the boys were beginning to feel human again. Unexpectedly their current manager popped his head in. Rosie, Woobie, and Butterfly sagged in their chairs. "Oh no," Shorty mouthed. Brusquely the middle aged continuously grumpy man began to speak**

**Within Butterfly's mind Traveler was alert and listening. "Yes, Sir," Nam Joon said a little too respectfully. Their manager narrowed his eyes, and furrowed his brow. "We have been thinking that you would come speak to us. Would you like a mug of tea?" This unusual solicitousness caught the man off guard, for he had been about to launch into a diatribe concerning this current generation's lack of proper manners and use of Informal Speech in too many inappropriate situations. Now their manager cleared his throat and assented that yes he would like some tea. All the young men sat still and quiet. **

**Drinking a bit of tea, he began. "I do not object to your removing yourself from the Chairman's reach," pausing he sipped again. "However, your stance was belligerent, and your tone - aggressive." ** **Nam Joon looked steadily into the older man's eyes but made no response, waiting for him to finish. Looking from one team member to another, their manager continued, "unpleasant situations should be handled with the greatest discretion possible." Bravely the boys looked back calmly as they had previously discussed, and said nothing. A long interval of silence filled the drab dining area.**

**Finally Nam Joon responded, "I followed my parent's instructions on handling such situations. As I began Middle School my parents warned me about times where I might find myself being preyed upon by a 'Deviant Elder', if you know what I mean." Brainy breathed deeeply and calmly, "they warned me never to behave in a fearful or embarassed manner, but to assert my right to be treated respectfully, and not to be sexually harassed or threatened, most of all, my father was adamant that I should NEVER tolerate a second of grabbing or groping.**

**"And have you informed your parents about last night's accident?" grey faced their manager queried.**

**"Of course I talked to my parents about the 'incident' responded Nam Joon innocently. Good Company man that he was, Mr. Manager initially flared up with anger, but then regained his composure reflecting on possible news headlines with photos of two overwrought repected parents, which could cast DEM in a bad ligh. If Nam Joon's parents reached the right 'ears' with their coimplaint about their son's treatment, or rather, mistreatment it could get very ugly for DEM. "My father and mother asked me to call them later tonight after you spoke with us," Brainy concluded.**

**An internal dialogue now took place within their manager, and the inner parent of two preteens won. "Yes, that seems best. DEM management would like to let all five of you know in strictest confidence, that The Chairmanship is only a titular office for our remarkable founder. Truthfully, he is aging badly, and is not always completely aware of what he is doing. His daughter, whom you all met, is actually running our company now. There will be no repeat of such unpleasantness." He gave them all a grave look. Moonbin looked away, respectfully of course. **

**"Thank you, Sir, I will let my parents know exactly what you said. I am sure they will sleep better tonight," Joon gave a very slight respectful bow. **

**"Boys you have a long photo session in fifteen minutes, but first, I need to tell you that the higher-ups have decided the name "_ASTRA" _won't do."**

**All five of them blinked in shock. "But we debut in six days," Rosie said in alarm. "What are we supposed to do?" Rising and shrugging his off-the-rack-suited shoulders, their manager disappeared down the hall.**


	9. AIShhh!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which stress takes its inevitable toll.

**"Some human emotions must be witnessed and vicariously experienced to be understood by other Sentient Beings such as ourselves." Traveler's Personal Log, p. 257 {Human Numeration- Standard English}"**

**Once again Eun Woo was the first awake, and he crept silently out to take care of his needs and to fetch tea for all. Returning to their soft snores and snuffles, Woobie flipped on the lights as his friends moaned and buried their heads in their pillows. Smiling gently at his best friends, he reminded them, as usual, that he'd brought tea. Three sleep tousled heads looked at him blearily. Reluctantly they wrapped hands around tea mugs and ventured experimental sips. Fearless Leader was still snoring. "Nam Joon, tea's ready." He was ignored. So Eun Woo switched to English, "Rise and Shine Brainy!" **

**Nam Joon peered out of sleep encrusted eyes, "you pronounced the 'r' very well. In fact your enunciation improves daily." Brainy had spoken in Hangul so the others would understand the compliment. Joon sipped slowly. "How do you manage to make our tea just right every morning?" Woobie beamed, yes, for wide awake, his eyes shone happily. Every one else looked as tired as Nam Joon felt. Last night after a photography session whilst dancing to their debut number, they had had a pretend press conference, followed by guidance on avoiding future mistakes. Luckily the kindest of DEM's veteran Idols, also a successful television Variety Show host had come to help them out. He'd quoted some of their responses and demonstrated how they might have avoided the questions or changed the subject subtly. Brainy had scribbled copious notes to share with the guys this morning. He'd meant to dicuss them as they allowed themselves five minutes for tea. But he just hadn"t the energy now. **

**T**ea **drunk, everyone scrambled for clothes et cetera. Hastily they began heading out when usually peaceful, calm Eun Woo actually raised his voice. "Stop Where You Are," he demanded. "Who stole my black pants just now?!"**

**Four faces looked at the floor, because all of them knew who'd done this dastardly deed, and that the purloining of the pants had happened last night on their way to the photography session. Silence thick and opaque filled the room. Finally Nam Joon poked Rosie.**

**Moonbin lifted his chin and shyly met Eun Woo's angry eyes. "Well, Woobie …"he began. The angry eyes became icy too. "Well, you see, we were running late for the photographer..." Eun Woo stood almost nose to nose with Moonbin now. "Well, I couldn't wear those joke-hot-pink pants to our photo shoot, because they might have stuck out over the..." he cleared his throat and unexpectedly coughed. Eun Woo grabbed his shoulders and shook him. Rosie gasped. ** **"How dare you go into MY things, rummaging around, and THEN STEAL …" Woobie breathed and released Moonbin. More softly but more coldly he went on, "how dare you steal my black pants!!!!!! MY PANTS!" **

**Nam Joon interposed himself between the two boys. "NO, Kim Nam Joon, none of your peacemaking! said Shorty. EunWoo has a valid complaint. Is he supposed to wear those pink horrors today?' **

** Woobie interrupted his supporter, "either Moonbin returns those pants washed twice, ...TWICE, I said, and dried, or … he pays me for them and keeps them, and, ... or …" and the usually mild Eun Woo now growled shaking with indignity, "or I will…" And Nam Joon put a finger over Woobie's lips which that furious person looked like he would bite. **

**"Moonbin can you see what a serious violation of Woobie's personal space and belongings this is?" Brainy said rapidly but very distinctly. "We all must respect each other, and our previously stated feelings about carelessly borrowing clothing, especially PANTS, without first asking each other." Joon spit out every word and gave Moonbin a fierce look. Cha Eun Woo walked away, but all could tell from the set of his shoulders that he was on his way to letting go of his anger. He really was the gentlest of souls.**

**"Can I have pants professionally laundered?" inquired Moonbin seriously.**

*****Breakfast*****

**As all were enjoying properly cooked eggs that morning, Traveler noted that Butterfly was finally calmed down. The altercation had rattled him all through their various exercises, as though he was expecting one of his friends to break the other's nose. Miss Traveler had noted that even though he hadn't been the transgressor in the 'theft of the pants' incident, his adrenaline response had been acute. She had whispered to Jonghyun that perhaps he might wish to share his distress with someone, say, Moonbin or Nam Joon, or Shorty. On her world although there were billions of them, being noncorporeal, they rarely engaged in confrontations over possessions. Sharing of feelings and thoughts was so complete and profound that deliberate action taken against another was grounds for exile. This morning's angry exchange had completely astonished her, so she had primarily flowed with her young human, feeling what he felt, and working to understand all the various persons. Now Traveler noted that when the New Year came, Butterfly was planning to get Eun Woo a small gift card to purchase duplicate items that were precious to him, so that he could hide extras away. At least, Butterfly had thought that he would hide his favorite clothing if he feared any of the giants he roomed with might try to squeeze their overly long legs, big feet or whatever into his own much smaller sized things. Sometimes being smaller had its advantages, Butterfly had thought and Traveler affirmed that thought.**

**Busy as they were the day was soon over and they found themselves wearily laying out sleeping gear. Sadly it was after midnight. They needed to rise again in about four and a half hours. As he pulled up his comforter, Moonbin mumbled, "Sorry everyone...sorry Woobie."**

**"'s all right. Never had professionally cleaned pants before," responded Eun Woo. "I think they ironed them." Giggles and chuckles accompanied all as they fell into an exhausted sleep.**

************Two a.m.************

**"Agel-Fairy," thought Jonghyun. In the deep late night darkness he waited for her response. Soft whiffling noises were coming from Joon asleep next to him, and Butterfly thought briefly of Joon's sinus problems. "Angel-Fairy are you here, or …" he thought again reaching within his mind for her presence.**

**"Yes, I am present," she emanated to him, adding a shimmering vision of a tiny pulsing light within his thoughts. **

**Comforted by the new image, Butterfly let many thoughts and feelings flow to her, all at once. She absorbed all, and felt what humans would call pleasure at this new more complete communication. "So, Junghyun, you feel worn out, and nervous, and you are wondering if you have the skills and talent necessary to be a true part of your group. You don't want to just float into success with them, because of their talents and not your own." Butterfly shuddered slightly and his blood pressure spiked and she knew she had correctly interpreted his thoughts and emotions. Gratefully she opened herself to receive even more information flooding from Butterfly's conscious and unconscious mind. She carefully responded again just with her rational thoughts. "Since I first came into your life, I have noted the focused energy you put into rehearsals and practices. Within your mind I still hear the feeling and beauty of your voice, and observe how synchronized your movements are with those of your team, Butterfly."**

**Pausing, Traveler let him absorb her communication, contemplating accessing his recent memories so that seeing the whole group reflected in the practice room's mirror, he would accept the reality of his fine performance. However, he himself drew upon these memories and reviewed them without the dark filter of his Inner Negative Critic.**

**"We're working together well," he admitted to himself and her. Drowsy brainwaves were taking over as he released his stress filled thoughts and feelings. Sleep reclaimed him. **

**Traveler noted this interchange in her personal log and changed focus in order to contact headquarters about this momentous step forward.**

*****Only Forty-Eight Hours to Debuting*****

A**ll five were seated in a row in chairs as hairdressers, make-up artisans, and one of DEM's Stylist Associates toiled and conferred. Rowoon had an acne eruption under his bangs and a decision about Dermatological Intervention or use of temporary cover-up work, was being made. Sweating from embarrassment, he was jiggling his foot in obvious distress. "Really," he was saying to no one in particular, "I have been diligent with skin care, and hydration." **

**"It could happen to any of us tomorrow or the day of our debut, even,..." allowed Eun Woo. "When I was modeling, I read that hormonal …" Before he could complete that sentence, a familiar voice intruded.**

**"Yes, I think we all know that this kind of thing is normal and even to be expected," interrupted Nam Joon squeezing Rowoon's vibrating foot into stillness. Gently a young woman pressed Nam Joon's lips together in order to apply serum to the skin around his lips which she was finding too dry. Of course she didn't know that when nervous he would take a deep breath and sometimes lick his lips before speaking. Now she dabbed lip balm, and made the shushing sign to him.**

**As another slightly older "noona" brushed his hair, Eun Woo smiled to himself, because Nam Joon had been stopped mid-interruption. Pleasurably, Woobie described how teenage skin reacted to stress hormones like Cortisol all by himself. "I read too", he said half to himself. Finished, he smiled slightly. As he smiled broadly, the young woman fixing EunWoo's hair whispered to him. He smiled even more widely.**

**Rosie was nodding until a hairdresser grabbed his chin firmly stilling his face. Nevertheless he gave Woobie a sideways grin.**

**"These cheekbones are absolutely beautiful," exclaimed the artist working on Butterfly, who blushed. Walking over slowly and gazing at him appraisingly, that woman nodded. "Shall I emphasize them?" cooed the make-up girl. **

**Nodding the stylist spoke to the five, "when you're done here, go directly to wardrobe, and then you'll be directed to an available photography room." Nervously all five thanked her, and also, all the busy young women. But released from their drapes, and walking to the hallway proved too much for their overstretched nerves. Nam Joon tripped on his own shoelaces, tearing one and faceplanting on the tiled floor. Naturally his lower lip began to both bleed and swell. A flock of young women grabbed his hands and arms and shooed the others out as they set to work repairing the damage. As the others headed to the elevator Rowoon distinctly heard the stylist ordering, "ice pack, shoe laces all colors, antiseptic, medicated lip bam..."**

Moonbin **put his arm over Woobie's shoulder before the elevator doors opened, and Butterfly looked down to make sure he and Shorty had tied up shoes. **

*******

**Back in the prep room a tear slid out of Brainy's right eye. Reaching across two girls, the stylist caught the tear with a Kleenex. "Put on the Alpha Wave Deep Relaxation music girls," she called out. Then she took Nam Joon's hand. "Breathe with me, …"**

**And he did. He whole-heartedly gave those deep breathing exercises one hundred percent concentration. **


	10. Einstein may have been right...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which personal insecurities rise and members work on their Public Personas, and Eun Woo, quietly bookish, gives all courage suggesting a totemic animal for them to cherish in their hearts

**"Humans love fiercely,calmly, confusedly, conflictedly, compassionately, but Love seems to define this group of Beings, for their rational behaviour is overwhelmed at times by their propensity for violence. Their capacity for Love, encompassing caring and unselfish actions redeems and transforms them." Traveler's personal log, additional notes, #251.**

**Groomed and shining with hope, _AD ASTRA, _newly renamed, posed and reposed as the cameras clicked. Afterwards there was a brief makeup and hair style refresh and on to a real interview at a nearby radio station-Live. After the DJ had played the track of their debut number halfway through he paused to chat with them. During this first interview Nam Joon, leader and eldest member, really shone. Despite the shyness of the other younger teammates, they responded when a question was directed at them, and Eun Woo obviously won the affection of the DJ. Teasing that he could hear the rest of their song if he came for their debut next afternoon, they bowed respectfully band left, not walking as was their usual mode of travel, but in a company van. Rowoon fell asleep four minutes into the drive back to the dorms. Then and only then could they decompress, bathe and find solace in their new bunk bed room. Shorty was in a lower bunk as was Woobie. Now Rosie climbed up over him, and Butterfly had already laid down in his upper, where he would sleep over Rowoon. NamJoon pulled out his rolling sleeping platform, and unrolled his cotton mattress. He insisited on ten minutes of Guided Meditation and turned on a soothing voice - speaking over the sound of a rppling stream. Grumbling followed but very softly because no one had the energy to really object. 'Don't let them fall asleep too soon,' Nam Joon sort-of-prayed. He sincerely wished at any rate.**

**"Let's share our thoughts and feelings now," their fearless leader interjected a few minutes later. Rowoon was beginning to snuffle on the way to soft snores. NamJoon shook him. " Rowoon... wake up; we're debriefing! " Half-asleep, Shorty flailed and Brainy ducked. Joon sat calm and composed, with a little half-smile like Buddha meditating and gazed at his sleepy comrades, then rolled his expressive eyes. Coming to his senses from the first stage of sleep, Shorty sat up so abruptly he almost hit his head, forgetting their new sleeping arrangements. Thoughtfully NamJoon leaned over and placed his hand between the metal bed frame and Shorty's cranium. "Who wants to go first?" Nam Joon asked. "... or shall we guess numbers, or, we can do 'rock, paper...', Brainy suggested. Rosie scooted to the edge of his mattress and slowly began to reflect aloud on their day.**

**"Today I really feel like our dream is becoming Real," he began "Really?" three other voices asked. Joon frowned at them. " We actually went through all the steps that Idol Group members do. All day long I kept feeling like someone would come over to us and tell us that it was a big mistake and we weren't debuting. If we were in a rehearsal or an interview, I worried just the same. It was such an anxious, scary feeling," Moonbin smiled weakly. "But one thing led on to the next, the day whooshed by, and then we were in that studio. Flashing 'Live On Air' right in my eyes, I looked twice at the radio booth sign, and then I looked through the booth's glass window at the smiling adjummas. That was when i knew it wasn't a dream, or a mistake. My heart was fluttering so much I thought it would burst." Eun Woo reached up a reasonably long arm and squuezed Rosie's hand.**

**Butterfly hazarded, "Rosie you acted in TV dramas as a child. And 'you!' found yourself getting nervous?" Moonbin nodded.**

**Eun Woo picked up the thread of conversation, "I was so excited too. Late in the day my cheeks ached and I realized i had never smiled so continuously for so long before." He moved to the matress' edge and sat up too. "When we were being photographed, though, I worried about disappointing the managers..." Then a pillow smacked Woobie from above.**

**"Mr. Handsome, Mr. Beautiful Face, was afraid he didn't measure up!" Heads were shaking. "Oh Woobie, are you going to be surprised as we become famous!?!" Rosie laughed.**

**"Now with this nose," Nam Joon wiggled his own, "a person could worry." Four pillows were pitched at him.**

**" As if? As cute as you are, Hyung?" asked Shorty, " and at least you've grown into your legs, unlike me." Rowoon hung his head and began pleating his blanket. His long lashes lay over his beautiful cheeks, but obviously he was as unaware of his attractive qualities as they all were.**

***

**Within Butterfly's thoughts, Traveler sent a communication. "Are humans always this anxious about their appearance?" Then she began to perceive very clearly how distressed her youngling was about his own face, and body. "What? Fat? Chubby?" She experienced his shame and dread, heard in his memories the cruel taunts of middle school peers, the so-called 'jokes' he'd experienced and the unforgotten jealous verbal 'cuts' he could not forget. At this moment he was too trapped in the past to join his teammates in the turn the conversation was taking. She began searching stored images for some to project into his mind to allay his torrent of negative thoughts.**

**Focusing particularly on Butterfly's drooped head, and blank stare, Brainy felt 'brain-less' to help his members out of their spiraling self-doubt. Frantically Nam Joon was thinking of a way to reroute this discussion. Then his phone vibrated. It was his sister. 'Should I answer?' he wondered, but his heart told him to take this call. "Noona," he began, but got no further. Suddenly a blast of voices surprised him. They were all female.**

**"Little brother, are you worrying right now?' she asked. Merry laughter pealed around her like precious metal bells across snow, "didn't I tell you?" she seemed to be addressing a nearby group. " Anxiety is probably keeping them all awake. We have greetings for you, bro. Switch to visual and you guys gather near so you can see." Commands from Noona usually resulted in their quick responses, so Nam Joon almost immediately felt the other four throwing themselves around him. On screen Noona's friends began sending flirtatious messages. One beautifully made-up young lady after another praised and complimented them, to coax the members to go out with them after their debut. Listing key glories of each one's face and form, the girls had all five blushing and grinning. "Well that's all for tonight, but your Manager had better loosen up and give permission for all of you to come out for a while with us the night after tomorrow after you're all done," Noona concluded. " We'd better see kisses thrown in our direction the when we all come to see your debut!" and she ended her call still laughing. **

**"Every one of them liked the way we look?' Rosie murmured as he climbed back up to bed. "They said I should smile more," he said half to himself, " but I thought I had a goofy smile." **

**"He'll be practicing his smile for at least an hour tomorrow," teased Eun Woo. "You don't think... we should all practice our smiles, maybe?" he began.**

**"NO!" four other voices answered him. **

**Butterfly ventured a thought aloud. "Maybe we could practice our songs after we turn off the lights? And can we open the blinds and let whatever light there is shine in? I would feel better just closing my eyes while singing." **

**"Mmmnn, mmmnn …" Rosie murmured beginning vocalizing to stretch his vocal chords.**

** As all hummed or spoke sounds softly, Nam Joon stood pulling up the cheap plastic blinds. They were still lodging on the fifth floor, sharing it with other with trainees and one or two newly debuted groups. There was no view really, just a large parking garage opposite their small window, dark now at this late hour. "Someday," he said to no one and every one, "wouldn't it be pleasant, no, wonderful to have a view and look out over an expanse of Seoul, or over a park, or the river?"**

**In the darkened space four heads nodded in agreement. **

*******

**Next morning Butterfly woke so very refreshed; he was rather amazed. He'd dreamed of middle school but his classmates had acted very differently from his remembrances of them. In the school talent show he'd sung a popular tune and gotten a standing ovation. Girls and guys had said he should aim for an Idol job, because he was talented and attractive. In that dream the principal had come to his classroom to shake his hand and encourage him. Observing his positive feeling, Traveler posted a positive report of last night's activity. **

**Good dreams enhance overall human positive feelings,' she thought and wrote down. Looking at Butterfly's teammates cheerful demeanors, she wondered what unconscious mechanisms had prompted their hopeful countenances. That unusual morning everyone had even thanked their "alarm clock", Eun Woo, for bringing them hot tea. **

** *****

**After Tai Chi, while skipping rope, Rosie looked at Butterfly and started laughing and giggling. Then it spread to Woobie, then Shorty and he began laughing at nothing. Working on his planks, Nam Joon tried so hard to resist their silliness, but lost to chuckles and chortles. Their unamused instructor set them to running laps but they kept falling out and down in spasms of uncontrollable giggling. Their manager was summoned. Hastily he removed the hysterical five from class. **

**In a small adjacent room, they were sat in lotus position as Mr. Manager had them meditate until all five found exhausted calm. To focus them further, their aggrieved manager asked them to discover a totemic animal, a Spiritual Guide for their group. Still visibly annoyed, he perfunctorily explained how the Phoenix had become key to a well-known group's mental strength and thus to their success.**

**As that gentleman went off for a coffee, a lively discussion began to deteriorate into a furious argument. So many other groups had already chosen and displayed their beasts in Logos and signage. Pulling out their phones, each found imagery to defend his choice. Suddenly Eun Woo was leaping in his seat , very much unlike his usual cool or shy manner. "Dracones" he said using Latin, the ancient Roman language so frequently found in J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter series of books. EUn Woo loved reading books almost as much as Joon. He had a saying ready as well. "Volantes ad astra super collis draconis. We will go to the stars on the backs of dragons." Now the imagery he showed was not Chinese or Japanese in origin, but from their own homeland, from Joseon, or Chosun, from the garments of kings from many dynasties and also of Goreyo, Silla, and other ancient first kingdoms. Phones out, all started finding bas relief carvings, paintings, … at least a hundred images. **

***

**Moving to the breakfast room, Nam Joon was writing out the characters on paper napkins, eyes ablaze with energy and excitement. Butterfly had started composing a poem. Eun Woo, Rosie, and Shorty were imagining a computer game featuring who else, but all five of them? As their manager strolled into the room, he saw his tactic had been wildly successful. Enthusiastically, the "loose-cannons" were focused and working together. Personally he didn't care if, or ... what beast they chose, but he was glad to see that their 'nerves' were not on their minds. Comfortably seating himself he looked at them intently, and they poured out ideas. **

**"Boys you have so many things to do today, and I want you asleep by midnight. Experience has taught we older wiser managers here at DEM, that you need at least six hours of sleep before a debut." They had been given their breakfast a half hour early and were eating hungrily as he outlined their day. No one would have even a second of free time for such foolish behavior as worrying.**

**Lunch was nibbled standing up between filming scenes for their debut video. That activity did take up most of their day. Afterward several members of one of DEM's most loved groups came by to watch their last rehearsal of the day and offer suggestions and positive comments. They were shocked by the compliments and expressions of admiration for their work those veteran Idols shared with them. It was past eight in the evening, and** _AD ASTRA_** were voraciously hungry and wondering if they had enough noodles in the food cupboard upstairs. Just then boxes of broiled herb crusted chicken arrived with side dishes and rice. "Our treat" announced their successful and famous 'hyungs'. "Some day you will return this favor to a newbie group," they concluded smiling. Dinner was filmed, and an hour of homework followed. **

********

**'Surely there were things to discuss' fearless leader was groggily thinking. Before he could form a sentence though he was fast asleep, as were Shorty, Woobie, Rosie, and Butterfly. **


	11. House of Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our group receives shattering news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers, thank you for spending time with me. You have noticed I'm sure that neither the band/Kpop Group nor the characters are simulacras for real people and/or groups. My five seventeen to eighteen year olds are only very loosely based on the real people I named them after. If you wondering why i am writing something so very much set on an earth in a Parallel Universe (see String Theory), let me tell you a little bit about my motivations. Since falling in love with Kpop music, I have observed both strengths and dire weaknesses in the training system. It puts me in mind of the Hollywood studios training in the 1930's and the abuses of power against the actors and actresses during several decades, Of course none of my five characters ever performed together in reality, and there is no scientific evidence to support my premise of a subatomic sentient being, nor a race of aliens from another galaxy. Some stalwart fans of ASTRO, or BTS, or SF9 may feel offended that I joined 'MY Versions' of these talented young men in an AU together with my imaginary person with so much pain from childhood. I came to experience and really like KPOP through my teen granddaughters. Aeons ago, I grew up loving the Beatles, and followed them and their individual music all my life. As a Septuagenarian, the deaths of young people successful in KPop has broken my heart. In my story I am trying to heal these characters. In a Parallel Universe, wouldn't it be great if a nearby policeman threw John Lennon to the street and another three others disarmed his assassin, and that George Harrison was cured of his cancer so that the Fab Four might have become jolly grandfathers writing age-appropriate music advocating for World Peace, and Environmental activism to stop Global Warming. Well I envision ideal outcomes for these talented Kpop stars too.

"**Humanity has far to go in an Evolutionary sense." Traveler's Journal volume Three Introduction**

**Briskly walking down the dorm hallway to the shared kitchen to make five mugs of tea, Eun Woo heard strange exclamations of dismay from various rooms, and wondered whatever could have happened. By the filtered water dispenser, a clog of trainees was whispering. All wore similar shocked expressions, and a long haired beauty was wiping at her eyes. Balancing their mugs carefully on their old wooden tray, he edged into the group. **

**"... I can't believe...so beautiful...met her once...such warm caring eyes..." were fragments of conversations he overheard as he waited for his turn at the spigot. Quickly he filled and heated their water, searching for some one he felt he knew well enough to interrupt. But everyone was just completing their errands and rushing back to their groups, so he did the same. **

***

**An alert from SBS on-line gave the bad news succinctly. One of DEM's brightest stars, twenty-eight year old Pearl, had been found dead by suicide, it was assumed, having left three copies of a long and detailed letter of explanation and farewell on her person : one for her father, one for her company, and one to be published for her many devoted fans. Eun Woo was glad he'd put the tray down before opening his phone, because he found that his hands were shaking uncontrollably. **

**Joon gently took the phone out of Woobie's hands, having been jolted awake when his friend gasped. "Sit down here by me, " he advised Eun Woo. Gratefully beginning to sip the invigorating, fragrant tea, Nam Joon asked him to open up his e-mail to see if there was a message from the company. Woobie breathed a few calming breaths, did so , and handed his phone back to their fearless leader. Now he began sipping his tea and called each of the remaining three to awaken them. Rosie reached out a slender arm for his morning 'wake-me-up'. Butterfly opened his eyes but still seemed asleep, and Shorty, who may have grown another centimeter in his sleep, softly snored on. Putting his mug down on the floor, where Eun Woo guessed he would knock it over forgetfully in a minute or two, Nam Joon began to read aloud. "Members of DEM it is with great sorrow that i must inform you of the death of our beloved Pearl in the small hours of this morning. I know you will all join me in mourning her passing, for she shone like the most lustrous pearl - 'a pearl of great value'*. Today and tomorrow all planned activities for DEM members are cancelled as we join together to grieve for our caring, compassionate and outstandingly talented member. More information will be posted as soon as family make their decisions." Their Fearless Leader looked around the group checking that no one was in danger of imminent breakdown and rose to get ready for the day...knocking over his half-drunk mug of tea. Woobie handed him some paper towels.**

**Butterfly began to weep silently, for he had met her on several occasions and she was one of his mentors. Rowoon sat up very slowly. Rosie moved over to Butterfly and put an arm around his shoulders. All their phones now noticeably pinged with a new message from Mangement. Their debut was cancelled for today and would be rescheduled. While all sipped quietly, Brainy reminded them that this was a coincidence only, a random thing, and cautioned against superstitious responses.**

**'Of course', thought Eun Woo, 'that is just what Nam Joon would say'. Gloom deepened. Their long awaited debut was cancelled. They couldn't be angry or frustrated because ... well ... a beautiful soul had departed for the next world and everyone was the poorer for her loss. **

**'Knowing and feeling are two separate things,' thought Rowoon and shuddered hoping this was not an ill omen. "No, no, mustn't get into the Luck thing', and he finished his tea. **

**"We probably still have Tai Chi, martial arts are today too, and who knows ?' murmured Rosie, jumping down and beginning to gather exercise wear. Fortunately Joon had been sleeping in a red tee, so Moonbin saw his crouched over form and waited to move forward.**

*******

**And all did have Tai Chi, followed by the various Martial Arts and an early breakfast, which no one minded. Then mangers appeared to discuss changed circumstances and appropriate mourning activities for the day. "I am going to quote from the West," began _AD ASTRA_'s own Mr. Manager as they called him. "It is what it is." He paused somberly. His group stared at their feet. "Tonight our company will have a Public invited Mourning, and tomorrow some of you will be attending her funeral at an historical Buddhist Temple an hour's drive away. The invited few will receive notification by e-mail" Mr. Manager stood to leave, and this was fine, because they certainly were not the group of his dreams, and they themselves only practiced polite manners toward elders, but there was no mutual affection or even liking. **

**"Let's shower and change into comfortable clothes for now," Brainy suggested. Nodding the group headed back to their new room. As they found things to wear, and things to launder, Joon's phone chimed his sister's favorite Big Bang tune. **

**"So, so sorry little Bro," she said, "this has to be a double blow for you all." Nam Joon marveled that his sister could really understand how they felt sometimes. She continued, "is there any thing I can do for all of you? Also the parents called earlier to let you know they are thinking of you and the group." For the first time that day Brainy choked up. Tears glistened in his eyes. Noona gave him a moment to collect himself. "** ** If you're low on groceries, I can bring a bag by later."**

**Getting ready to tell his Noona that they were just fine, he felt Rosie's quick hand remove the phone from his grasp. "Noona, you are so thoughtful, we would be forever grateful," Moonbin replied. Behind him Rowoon and Eun Woo assented. **

**"We'll be by around four-thirty, put on your best manners, and try to talk this time Shorty." She hung up. Shorty punched Nam Joon affectionately in the arm and grinned. Brainy shrugged; he'd lost this round to his brothers. Actually, the girls would feel better if they provided some comfort he reflected.**

**So they cleaned and finished their laundry. Now Brainy asked them to grab school bags and their calligraphy things. Quietly he led them to one of his favorite nooks in their building - a windowed corner overlooking a little ground floor garden space where executives sometimes had light meals or drank wine with VIPs. "Let's sort out our thoughts about our Pearl, maybe in a notebook... Then I'd like for each of us to compose a five to eight line poem remembering her."**

**Eun Woo thought that they were lucky to have Nam Joon to think of things like this since their manager was a "fail" in such matters. "Wish we could be sitting out there com[posing our poems," he reflected. **

**"Such beautiful settings were not created for the likes of us, " muttered Shorty, and looked at Joon anxiously. 'Had he said too much?' Rowoon wondered. But Joon just smiled his little sad smile of acceptance, the one everybody on their team knew so well. Staring at his notebook now, Shorty began to jot down thoughts and memories of Pearl. They were occupied in this manner for over an hour until five neatly calligraphied poems were ready to be placed in the open box of remembrances near her photo and all the flowers.**

**Then it was time for lunch. They decided to take a nap. Wouldn't Pearl have rested herself whenever she had the chance? Had she found love? Was she Depressed? Could she have become chronically ill? What would happen to her beloved little dog? Their thoughts were like that as all five fell into a deep sleep.**

***** **

**Traveler noted just how much these five late adolescents had needed their extra two hours of sleep. Greeting Noona and her friends today had seemed an effortless process, she might even describe as homo sapiens normal. Now as they donned their dark suits to attend the DEM memorial for Pearl, she felt they were beginning to accept their own personal loss of their debut performance and all that would have meant in their lives. Certainly they were very subdued as they sat in their assigned row in DEM's auditorium. Each sat privately contemplating their new setback and the grim facts Pearl listed as cause of her ending her life. according to her wish, each trainee, group member, solo star, and employee was given a copy of her last message to them within a remembrance trifold including her best selling and award winning songs, her starring roles in dramas and films, and sayings of hers that were popular among the "DEM" family. **

**As he had early that morning, Butterfly was silently weeping. Moonbin sat supportively on his left, and Nam Joon on his right. In the front row of mourners sat Pearl's former group members _BRIGHT SHINING GEMS, _and her siblings. Her best friend also an actress, stood before all ready to begin. Pearl's photo appeared nearly filling the wall where it was projected. Softly, almost inaudibly, her top songs were now playing. "Our Pearl was the bravest of us all, " began Pearl's lifelong friend. Although sometimes tears clogged her throat and she paused to regain control, she described how Pearl had overcome early poverty, the loss of both parents, terrible stage-fright, anxiety, anemia, stress caused Urticaria, and the break-up of her group. Turning to gaze sadly at the image of Pearl's first leading role in a drama, "Mad About Boys", she haltingly related the hitherto unknown story of forced prostitution with leading Corporate Sponsors and Producers, orchestrated by the former CEO, the founder of DEM. Many were now openly weeping. When Pearl's best friend concluded her eulogy mentioning how amnesic episodes and Chronic Major Depression destroyed Pearl's final two years, the founder's daughter rose to give her own statement.**

**Rather than excuse her father's role in breaking a beautiful soul with his harassment and abuse, she slowly looked out across the auditorium. Unflinchingly she said, "If any others in this company were mistreated in this way, I will establish a secure line in my e-mail. Tell me what happened to you. I will pay for therapy you may need, and I promise that no more bogus counselors or uncertified medical personnel will be masquerading as helpers when their only true job is hushing up Abuse". She too turned to gaze at Pearl's smiling face. She bowed very low in that direction. "I fought my father behind the board, but my efforts were futile. Pearl, with your death I pledge an end to the culture of Misogyny and abuse of the young and vulnerable that has reigned here at DEM for too long. Parties guilty of abuse will be fired with no severance, and reported to the Prosecutor's Office. From now on DEM enters the twenty-first Century and we guarantee protocols that ensure Basic Human Rights for all employees." **

**Despite the fact that this was a memorial, all stood and applauded quietly. Muffled sobs abated. Some few more individuals spoke. Prayers were said by all, and chanted by monks as well. At the very end as one of Pearl's most loved songs played, many softly sang along. In silence they filed out and our five joined a few others on the roof. Cold night air was still filled with smoky smog from China, but the mourners gazed upward and prayed earnestly that she had found peace. **

**Traveler was pondering what she had just experienced with and through Butterfly. Her race lived for thousands of human years and chose their own time of Transformation so there were no agonized partings like this. Again she realized how great a burden it was to be composed of Matter. Material Beings could experience their existences uniquely and amazingly through sensory knowledge, but by living so anchored in matter, they struggled to "see" their energetic continuance. In fact human scientists categorized the vast portions of the Universe that they could not define as "Dark Matter and Energy". Just as easily those students of the Universe, the Cosmos they called it, might just as well name them "Mystery Matter " and "Unknown Energy". She was drawn out of her reverie by the acuteness of Jonghyun's grief. Feeling nothing but shame, she became aware that he too had often thought of ending his life, and acknowledging this brought an unwarranted weight of guilt. Before she could intervene by altering his brain's chemistry and functioning, Butterfly leaned against Nam Joon and sobbed like the child he had been not so many years before. Totally surprising her reasoned analysis of Nam Joon, Brainy immediately responded not with words but by wrapping his arms around his younger friend and letting him cry, until all the intense emotion had flowed out.**

**Shorty also had put his long arms around Butterfly, and both Rosie and Woobie had taken his hands and were squeezing them sympathetically. Many around them were also weeping out loud under the distant stars; as Traveler knew and these humans did not, some additional Travelers might at this moment be setting forth on journeys like hers, to do what they could for hurting humanity. 'If only I could tell them,' Traveler mused, ' that some distant stars are filled with sentient Companion Beings, and humans, contrary to their despairing thoughts, are not Alone. If only I could reassure them that their souls despite physical death, live on in various ways complicated to explain.'**


	12. Dreams Have Much Truth Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Butterfly grieves even in his sleep and Traveler unblocks his memories to help him heal from past trauma...

**" Even though evolved further than Homo Sapiens, we Photonics are not all-knowing and decisions that we make to assist others are just as fraught with anxious feelings and fear of failure as other species on other worlds in this vast universe." Traveler's Journal, Book Three, P.L03**

**Traveler was observing Butterfly's dreams tonight although monitoring heart rate, respiration, and release of various chemicals within his brain. Unmoving but sweating, Butterfly dreamed about Pearl, himself, and the neighborhood children he had encountered when he was ten and newly moved into a much poorer and rougher part of Seoul. His older siblings would not be walking home with him, not returning home for another hour since her Primary and Middle School were not adjacent. Oddly Pearl walked next to him as he climbed uphill, that is a diminuitive version of her famous self. In his dream his child self kept wondering how she had been shrunk to this small size. Nevertheless she held his hand and talked about television anime shows, a doll she wanted, and other everyday things. Overhead dark clouds were rolling in from the sea. Behind them the other children were following. They were taunting him about his mom, their basement apartment, his small size, his teeth, and on and on. And although he ignored them, they kept their verbal harassment going block after block. **

**As rain began to fall, Pearl too became an object of their torment. Now they called her vulgar names, and one or other would run up to them and shove them into walls of houses adjacent to the very narrow street. Sometimes they pushed them down to their knees on the wet pavement. Cold winds began buffeting the pair as Pearl begged him to run home with her. Yet every corner they turned, was a wrong turn, and they only got more bewildered and confused. As the falling rain reached drenching level, the sadistic kids circled round them. Dreams often change without reason, and suddenly the bullies were protected from the downfall by slickers, umbrellas, and rainboots. Soaked to their own skin and growing cold, he and Pearl were pushed back and forth across the circle by the bullying children. **

**Heart rate too fast, and adrenaline beginning to flood his brain, Traveler noted, and intervened. She awakened her new human friend. Shivering from the aftermath of the dream as well as the cold room, sweaty as he was now, Butterfly opened his eyes and pulled up his blankets. Overwhelming feelings of fear coursed through him, but he couldn't exactly remember what he had dreamed. Whenever he entered that childhood time in dreams he felt like he was about to die. Upon awakening he could never remember the events that led to the fear, but fear was what he felt. Traveler flowed with his thoughts and felt those terrifying emotions with him. Quickly our Traveler lowered production of "fight-or-flight" chemicals to help Junghyun. Leaning on an elbow he fumbled for his thermos get a sip last night's water. **

**"You were talking in your sleep like I do sometimes," whispered Moonbin, reaching across and under Butterfly's pillow for his thermos and handing it to him. Gratefully Junghyun poured a cupful and relieved his throat's dryness. "Do you want to tell me about your dream?' Rosie continued. **

B**utterfly shook his head before remembering that Moonbin mightn't be able to see him. "...don't really remember it," he said softly back. Traveler wished that he would seize this moment to open up a little because Moonbin was usually an empathetic listener. Accepting Rosie's squeezing his hand for a second, Butterfly lay back on his damp pillow, then turned it over to its dryer side. "Sorry to wake you up," he mumbled. He could hear Rowoon snoring and snuffling below him, ditto Joon in the middle of the room. Feeling somewhat better, Butterfly fell asleep again. Now during this dream episode, Traveler had found an opening in Butterfly's memory circuits to the repressed trauma that haunted Junghyun's unconscious mind. **

*******

**'Do I let this memory surface as he sleeps?' she pondered. Terrifying though it was, perhaps he could counter its phobic after-effects better if he recalled them she reasoned. Her species did feel many emotion, but as non-corporeal Beings they were supremely Rational. Cautiously she decided that Butterfly's previous dream was truly a lifting of the seal his unconscious had placed over the trauma, and she would assist it to open further. About an hour later, once again he was dreaming of Pearl, but this time he and Pearl were teens. Again they walked the dangerous dark narrow streets of his old neighborhood. In this dream episode though they were wearing shorts and were feeling hot under the summer sun. 'Hmm?' Traveler wondered, which elements here are symbolic and which a replay of the past? **

**

**Pearl and Butterfly were carrying armloads of brand new schoolbooks, an incongruous action for mid-summer. Soon the heckling bullying neighborhood kids reappeared. As he and Pearl walked some of the boys separated themselves from the group and went after Pearl with buckets of neon green slime. Although he begged her to stay with him, she ran off attempting to outrun her tormenters, but she shrank as she ran and distant screams let him know she had failed to escape. Instantly he too shrank to preschool size, as had Pearl. This time they threw pinecones at him and even mud clods. Inexplicably the bullies grew a foot or so taller. Grabbing his preciuos new school books out of his arms, they threw them over walls, into the gutter and down the hill. Then they grabbed him by his hair and began dragging him. Struggling with all his young strength he still could not get away. Their insults grew uglier and more peronal. Traveler noted that he was physically reacting here asleep, as thought he was in the past and monitored him carefully. **

**Junghyun was trapped in the dream, but both his conscious and unconscious minds warred for control. Frightened-Butterfly's-small-child self was lifted off his feet by the mob of feral children. Traveler cross referenced a decades old novel Lord of the Flies.**

**Butterfly's dream self saw discarded furniture and appliances, tall weeds, a collapsing roof and the snarling faces of his tormentors. Just as Traveler was wondering how much worse his dream might go, the largest kids tore off his new clothes. ( They were new he distinctly thought in the dream). Making a very ugly face, the biggest one shook him, and made lewd remarks as though he was an adult and not just eleven years old. A metal door opened and Butterfly the child was stuffed into darkness. It was hot and almost airless, and so so dark. There was no room to move. He could not raise his arms. Something was crawling on his foot, but his pinioned arm would not allow him to reach that foot. That was when he knew that he would die here. **

**"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Traveler told him.**

**Butterfly woke up screaming, and all his friends awoke as well. But it was Nam Joon who reached him first. **

**"Turn on the lights" he directed. Butterfly's eyes were wide open and he still cried out as loudly as he could.**

**"H..uh..huh… llll… p" Butterfly screamed.**

**"I think he is having a night terror, " Brainy surmised softly. "Damp cloth, Rosie," he had taken charge just like that. "Eun Woo, call the 24 hour nurses office. Yes, Rosie wipe his face gently." NamJoon spoke to Junghyun tenderly as he would to an injured small child, "It's okay; everything is okay. We're in our dorm room with you, Butterfly. Come to your senses please. It was a terrible dream, and you can wake up. It's okay now, because all your hyungs are here with you now."**

**From beside him Eun Woo pointed to the phone and nodded. "Maybe you could try counting backward," he offered, recalling a film where a therapist brought a hypnotized patient out of a terrible memory that way.**

**Butterfly was calling out loudly for help, but no longer screaming. Joon shrugged, nodded to Eun Woo and began. "When I get to zero you will wake up Butterfly, ten, nine, ... two, one, zero." Jonghyun stopped shouting, but he began to weep and even choke on his copius tears. **

**Looking right at Joon, he still didn't see him, but saw his noona, so he addressed him as his elder sister. Joon shook his head. Then Butterfly lifted his arms as though wishing to be lifted up, or out, or some such thing. Hiccupping, he whispered, "Noona". ** **Rowoon bent over Nam Joon and pulled Butterfly out of his bunk. Butterfly closed his eyes and laid his head on Shorty's chest wrapping his own arms around his friends neck in the manner of a five year old. Rowoon tugged at Butterfly's blanket and pulled it over his ice cold friend. Nam Joon was very grateful for Shorty's instinctual big brother response in this moment of crisis.**

**At this point no one seemed sure what to do next, but a knock on the door signaled the arrival of one of the company's nurses. Nam Joon gave an abbreviated version of the last minutes as she gestured to Rowoon to place Butterfly on the Nam Joon's sleeping platform. Surprisingly Junghyun opened his eyes in bewilderment as the nurse began taking his pulse. Before he could formulate a question, she told him, "you had a huge nightmare young man, and your friends couldn't rouse you. Tomorrow everyone up and down the hall will want to know if you were dreaming about Godzilla destroying Seoul," she joked. **

**Blinking and confused, Butterfly sat silently as the nurse checked him out. Although his teammates were expecting another joke from the nurse this time as she started to speak, maybe about what he'd eaten for dinner, she looked at all of them seriously. " First,"** **she had said, "get him a therapist's appointment tomorrow. Junghyun, let them help you make an appointment with a Clinical Psychologist. Second, write down whatever fragments of tonight's dream episode that any of you remember for that therapist.. Thirdly, for the benefit of this whole floor I am giving you, young man, an injection to help you to sleep." Before the startled group could say anything the hypodermic was in and out of the patient's arm. " Do****n't feel that you were the only one having trouble sleeping comfortably," she added, "you are my fourth patient tonight". She gathered her things giving Joon a card with an appointment time to check on Butterfly the next day.**

**Brainy decided that Butterfly should remain where he was and that he would sleep next to him in case he had another awful dream. Everyone resettled themselves and the big light was turned off. In the dim light of a personal study lamp, Joon pulled out his ubiquitous notebook. "Do you remember anything?' he asked Butterfly in his kindest voice. **

**Taking a big breath, Junghyun said he remembered a small dark place where he couldn't move, and that he couldn't get out of. He remebered his eldest sister lifting him out of it and wrapping something around him. Eun Woo patted Rowoon appreciatively. In their bunks the others concluded that that dream Butterfly had was pretty terrifying. Had their friend t been taken and stuffed in some small dark space they all wondered. **

**Pearl was somewhere in his dream too Butterfly said. Since he sounded hoarse Rosie opened a bottle of juice fortified with vitamins the nurse had left for her patient and passed it to Junghyun.**

**"Anyone else?" Brainy had been writing a lot so he must have already noted his own thoughts and recollections Moonbin decided. "He had a less bad nightmare before the really frightening one," added Rosie. "And I asked if he wanted to talk about it, but he went back to sleep".**

**Before Joon could ask him what he recalled about the first dream, Butterfly remembered, "...there were a group of bullies chasing me and Pearl too." Joon scribbled away and then paused looking at their now sleepy friend, thinking maybe it'd be best to let that medicine do its work. **

**Eun Woo had a thought. "He did say 'put me down' and 'why are you hurting me?' when he was coming out of it, just before calling for his Noona." Both Rowoon and Rosie agreed that they had heard him say that. **

**Brainy closed his notebook and asked if the others minded the small light staying on. When they didn't, he adjusted the now sleeping Butterfly's covers, and rolled over, but Joon knew it would be at least an hour before he could process all that had happened and go back to sleep himself. **

*******

** Bright sunlight was pouring through the blinds when Nam Joon opened his eyes. Standing above Joon, holding a tray of fragrant mugs of tea, Shorty was almost sniggering, his mouth stretched into an impossibly wide grin. Brainy did feel warmer than usual, and something-sort-of-heavy weighed on his chest. Looking down he found Butterfly's arm stretched over him, and his heavy head resting on Joon's person, like a toddler cuddled next to his dad or hyung. Carefully Joon lifted the resting arm off, and then half sat replacing Butterfly's tousled head on the pillow. **

**"What a night!?!" Rowoon mouthed.**

**"Oh yeah," Joon mouthed back, and happily accepted the tea handed him. Now he noticed how quiet the whole floor of the dorm was. Holding their clock in front of himself, Rowoon pointed to the time - 7:45 a.m.**

**Smelling the tea's aroma, Moonbin lifted his head, happy to have slept later than usual, until he remembered why. Rowoon reached out to him, offering tea, which sleepy Moonbin took, nodding thanks. Peace filled the space, until neighbors began knocking on their door, asking about last night's troubles. Joon got up and went out to explain, and as he did Butterfly opened one eye.**

**"Please tell the nurse today that she can give me some of that sleep medication anytime," Rosie teased. "Babies never sleep as peacefully as you did." Butterfly didn't know how to respond. Rosie kept it light. "I'm kind-of-sad about the postponement of our debut, but we will be so in sync when we perform, we will astonish our audience. Maybe they'll rush out to buy flowers for us." Smiling his sweetest smile, Moonbin hugged Eun Woo and then Butterfly. He opened his arms** **toward Rowoon who grabbed his bundle of clothes and dashed out toward the showers. "Did you grow another half a centimeter last night Mr. Shy?"he called after their fleeing friend.**

**Brainy returned after half an hour and began planning their day. Rosie pulled his blanket over his head, and Eun Woo announced that he wanted to join other trainees playing basketball that afternoon. Rowoon reappeared fresh and clean, wet hair lieing on his forehead. He began toweling it dry. All their phones pinged.**

**Management was sending out a text. Breakfast is being served and if you are hungry please get yourselves to the lunchroom. No one in _AD ASTRA_ needed a second reminder. **

*******

**Butterfly and his friends were hungrier than usual, so Traveler took time to interface with Homebase. After relating the revelations she awaited suggestions from fellow travelers to earth, and still kept part of her conscious mind on Butterfly. A message from her commander stated the the Consortium of Assisting Agents believed her human may have begun his Crisis earlier than expected, but this was not a setback but progress toward Healing. Many thoughts and suggestions flowed across her Comm screen as she absorbed and integrated.**

***

**Having meandered back to Brainy's favorite glass walled nook these young humans folded their legs into Lotus position and began a Spiritual Practice akin to Meditation but interspersed with repetitions of Sutras. Traveler went with Butterfly's thoughts and in this process knew she would be able to assist him when he met with the suggested therapist in an hour. DEM had arranged for various medical professionals in the field of Mental Health to come to their headquarters which made it easier for the Trainees and Group Members to see them. Brainy volunteered to accompany Jonghyun and get some reading done during their session. Traveler felt herself glow with appreciation, and if she analyzed herself scrupulously, she knew she was becoming more and more attracted to Kim Nam Joon. "Wait, stop, halt,' she cautioned herself. My feelings are not acceptable in this situation. But Photonics, like humans, often had to struggle with feelings of affection that bubbled up almost spontaneously at times. 'What was she going to do with herself?' she ruminated.**


	13. Does the Truth set you free?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herein Jonghyun begins healing psychotherapy, and Nam Joon's peace of mind is shattered.

**"Photonics are an ancient Species who can be found throughout the Known Universe. " Travelers Journal **

**Butterfly had filled out so many pages of questions, his hand and head ached. Nam Joon encouraged and brainstormed with him or he knew he would have given up and gone up to their room, and had a nap. Now he sat in a spare room opposite a pleasant middle-aged fatherly man, who was quietly reading through his provided information. When Jonghyun looked down at his clenched hands he noticed they were fairly red, and felt cold. No they felt hot. Who knew? He liked the man, that is the therapist's voice, had he learned to sound kind and understanding? Thoughts raced through Butterfly's mind, and he did not feel that he would be able to talk about himself. Smiling slightly the doctor reached for his hand and began to take Butterfly's pulse, such a simple ordinary commonplace thing. His fingers were warm, his manner non-threatening, and he replaced the nervous young man's hand in his lap lightly. **

**"Have you ever talked with a therapist before?" Jonghyun shook his head. "Do you have questions for me about the process, or perhaps things you've heard, or maybe worries about working with a psychotherapist?" Butterfly began to ask, and as the hour sped by, he shared things that surprised him. Before too much time seemed to have passed the gentle older man rose, shook his hand, and gave him a brief note for the nurse.**

**'That wasn't scary or difficult,' he thought to himself. Traveler communicated back with a warm feeling that spread throughout Butterfly's conscious mind. Jonghyun thought to Traveler that he suddenly hoped he would be 'normal' whatever that was. She thought back to him that she herself was an odd member of her own species, which made Butterfly smile. **

**"Lots of late adolescents have dream problems like mine!" he exclaimed to Nam Joon as he put down the book he was reading.**

'**Well at least you don't need to feel bad about feeling bad," Joon chuckled. He stood and stretched, and put his arm around Butterfly's shoulder, "...to the nurse?" Butterfly nodded. **

**Within Junghyun's conscious mind Traveler echoed Joon's statement in a warm thought, '... no one really needs to feel bad because they feel bad,' and she giggled internally. 'We don't giggle,' she ruminated shocked at herself. ' Ancient wise Spoecies like ours are not prone to passing lightweight emotions. Are we?' **

*******

**As the pair walked to rejoin their roommates, Butterfly asked, "would you take this medicine if you were me?" Joon smiled and nodded. "But so fewpeople take medicine like this?" Worry began to be obvious upon his face.**

**Nam Joon considered and replied, "some people take medicine to help them sleep. Your medicine is for helping you to be less anxious while you sleep. And maybe it will help through the next day." Joon was completely nonchalant about the subject. "If you sleep without nightmares, you will awaken more rested and ready for whatever the day brings, right? That has to be a good thing, yes?" **

**Butterfly reasoned that sleeping peacefully was a good thing, and frightening nightmares were a truly awful thing. "It's only for this week until I meet with the therapist??" he questioned.**

**Joon turned the corner of the hall back to their new bunk filled room, " … sometimes doctors tinker with prescriptions, Butterfly. Some patients need more milligrams, others need less, some need to take medicine twice a day, and some only every other day. I think it would be best just to take it as prescribed and see what next visit brings."**

**Finishing his answer, Brainy opened the door and found all the athletically inclined fast asleep. If they had been more relaxed they would have been human puddles. Naturally Nam Joon woke them up to practice their two songs for a few hours. Finally all voted to remove him from leadership and go out for food. **

**"?What?" asked Joon.**

**On the way down their group entered the elevator to find one of the new girl groups already going down for dinner. Butterfly's eyes made contact with those of the girl he had a secret crush on. She smiled cheerfully at him and he suddenly grew weak and found it hard to breathe. Fortunately Nam Joon and not Rosie caught this reaction and bolstered Butterfly in an imperceptible way. Before the doors opened, and all eleven youths spilled out into the building's lobby, Traveler admired Nam Joon yet again. **

'**Had she gained Mass, 'she wondered to herself. "Why she was having almost human reactions and feelings?!' Tonight while her youngling was sleeping, she would need to contact her immediate supervisor on a planet within this galaxy, not too many light years away. She was not, no, she was not succumbing to human love for Butterfly's friend - Nam Joon.**

*******

**Junghyun did do well with this medicine taken with his supper, and after an hour or so of studying, fell into a comfortable and restful sleep. Rosie and Eun Woo were able to quiz each other in soft voices, Nam Joon listened to his favorite tracks with his headphones, and Shorty fell asleep still holding his textbook. It was such a good start to the night. Interrupting all this mellow contentment was a call from Butterfly's mother for Nam Joon. He decided to go to the communal kitchen to take the call. Maybe some one had left homeless cookies, or Gummy Bears just for him. **

> **Polite as he could possibly be, Joon attempted to steer Jonghyun's anxious mother to the Nurse, but she insisted on talking with the friend who had been through the night terror with her son. So as she began her tale, the group's fearless leader poured himself an outstandingly soothing herbal tea and sat in the least uncomfortable worn out chair. Since he had already heard about the family's hardships due to Jonghyun's dad's various troubles he skillfully guided their conversation to the move into the rough neighborhood, and the problems with the hostile and bullying neighborhood kids. As though she had been waiting years to tell this story to some one, Butterfly's mom began her detailed account.**

**"We were barely affording food and rent, and had lost our previous deposit from our former home," she started. "I traveled across Seoul to my job each day, and the two oldest got part-time jobs to help. This meant that both Jonghyun and his slightly older sister made their way to school, ** **to a bus, by themselves. Jonghyun was small for his age, and always very anxious, afraid of spiders, snakes, the dark, and wasps. When a vehicle backfired he jumped. Taunts caused him to look down and tremble. All the neighborhood bullies and their gangs targeted him. His sister would always** **walk part of the way with him until she got to her bus stop. He would wait there for her after school, but she was able to join an afterschool English class once a week and it was no time before the worst of the bullies realized that he walked home alone to an empty house on that one day.** **was all-right when the elder ladies were on the street, but for whatever reason, on one afternoon, the street was completely empty. At first the gang of eleven and twelve year olds just heckled my boy. But after a while that wasn't enough for them so they began running up and pushing him down. **

**He began to run. I'm sure he did run very fast, but they caught him. From the police report we learned that the biggest boy threw him over his shoulder as they dumped out his schoolbooks into the street and one claimed his new bag for himself. Then the gang took off through alleyways t** **oward an abandoned old house. At first they just dropped garden spiders on him, (her voice broke momentarily) but then the leader had them strip him and dump him up-side down into an ancient washing machine. As they closed the lid the boys piled bricks and stones on the lid to make** **it hard to get out of. Apparently, he frantically begged to be released, then they all ran away, ignoring his screams. ** **Later his sister found his books in the street not too far from our door. She knew something had to be very wrong and went to a neighbor who had heard the shouting and laughing and his crying, but really had not known what to do, or so she said, but she let my daughter call me and her siblings. **

**As I rushed home I called old friends and my brothers to come help look for my Jonghyun. It began to grow dark, as we all spread out across the area. WE were lucky to run into a young policewoman walking her beat, and she thought she knew abandoned houses where kids played what they called their ** **pranks. He was in the yard of the second place we searched. Fortunately the policewoman was suspicious of the rubble covered washer, because my little one had screamed himself hoarse. As the young woman removed the rocks and bricks, I opened the washer, and my eldest daughter pulled my ** **Jonghyun out of that horrible rusty tub. I had the girls take off my sweater and wrap it around him. My sweet boy was bleeding and he was so cold, but of course the emergency team had warm blankets for him."**

***

**Nam Joon had tears flooding his face. In a broken voice he said, "oh no, no, no...no". Butterfly's mother continued.**

***

**"There was the ambulance and we took him to the hospital right away. He had some troubles, didn't talk for a week, refused to go to school, had to sleep with a light on, taking medication every day... and so on." She blew her nose and went on, " That young policewoman was so kind. She organized those ** **women into a neighbors helping neighbors group who kept an eye on all the youngsters from then on. The gangs were found and sentenced to neighborhood cleanup for a year, supervised by the older ladies and a few retired grandfathers. And Jonghyun almost immediately forgot what had happened. ** **Or we thought he had, until his night terrors started. There was no money for special doctors so the pediatrician talked to him off and on..." her voice trailed away as she sniffled again. It's been about a year since he had one of those awful nights."**

***

**"Thank you for trusting us with this story, but I really think that tomorrow you should call the nurse here, and arrange to come see her and tell all of these things to her. DEM is sponsoring psychotherapy for all who were negatively affected by Pearl's suicide, and just this afternoon, Butterfly had his first session."**

**"Oh, … " began Butterfly's mother crying in earnest now. **

**"It will be allright, all right," said Joon softly.**

**"We've been training very hard and it has been hardest on Jonghyun, so I am sure the company is only fulfilling their duties in giving him counseling right now." Nam Joon took a deep breath, "please call the nurse tomorrow," he repeated. When she mumbled some kind of assent, he wished her a good night, and pressed the phone's off. Then he stared at nothing. 'How would I have felt if that had happened to me at ten?' Shaking his head, he rinsed his face with cold water and made his way back to their room where snuffles let him know that the team was sound asleep. 'All asleep except me,' he reflected. Pulling out his platform, unrolling his sleeping gear, he lay in the semi-darkness for along time before sleep claimed him too. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am hoping the violence warning was sufficient notice for you dear Readers. I did not want to trigger anyone. Not a therapist myself, who knows if childhood trauma such as our Jonghyun character suffered would be a cause of an amnesic episode. Would childhood domestic violence and impoverishment cause Chronic Anxiety unless an individual's brain chemistry was predisposed from birth? Do you disagree about use of Modern Pharmaceuticals to assist people in dealing with daily constant Anxiety and Panic Attacks? Some really endorse Cognitive Behavioural Change therapy? Feel free to discuss your opinions with me. Personally I believe in Psychiatric Medical Intervention. Depression left untreated often ends in death.  
When a person has been very hurt, I think help is needed to heal. Even if NueroScientists argue with Clinical Psychologists in articles, or individuals write extensively about personal experiences praising or descrying medical treatments, each injured soul must find a certified non-judgemental therapist, which can be a years long journey. But PTSD, or childhood Abuse can be lived with with help. There is hope for the most wounded soldier or abused woman.  
I believe a company, educational institution, church, family or government which denies treatment to someone seeking help, seeking and needing Treatment is guilty of murder as surely as if they starved that individual to death. To blame a person suffering and seeking help is equivalent to telling a Fragile Diabetic that they have chosen to have a non-functioning Pancreas. To deny that Diabetic Insulin is an Act of Murder.


	14. What Creates Success?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the fantastic five finally debut, and find that their own feelings of accomplishment matter most to them...

"**Humanity and Photonics can become ... compatible species once Homo Sapiens overcomes its globally held fears of that which is different form itself." Travelers Log **

**In his dream Junghyun _was_ an actual butterfly with shimmering Cobalt blue and Emerald green wings as large as human hands. And he sang. When he sang unrecognizable birds joined their melodies to his. It seemed the notes of their song shimmered in the tropical air. Somewhere closeby a waterfall was rushing over stones into a pool. He felt so free. Their wordless melody brought him astonishing quiet joy. ** **When Rowoon nudged him awake for the usual day of training, handing him a mug of tea, his heart was quiet. Colors of flowers and foliage were all he could recall of his dream, but it was enough. Butterfly sipped, Rowoon handed tea to Moonbin, and then to Eun Woo. No one spoke, but somehow Butterfly felt that the room had changed overnight. Shorty now sat on the edge of his bed also drinking calmly. Traveler made herself known in Butterfly's mind like an arm around one's shoulders. Junghyun recognized that he felt very peaceful, and for the first time in weeks, he felt 'at home' with these four teammates.**

***

**"Another long day," Joon announced reading the schedule on his phone. "Maybe we will discover when they have planned for our debut today. Rescheduling it shouldn't cause any difference in the reception from critics or our public audience. And our music video will be ready to drop the same day. I hope."**

**"We all hope," echoed Woobie. Shorty collected the empty mugs, and headed out. Rosie and Eun Woo followed after gathering their things, followed by Joon, who slid his bed under Eun Woo's bunk. Jonghyun was still thinking when Nam Joon's still silent waiting form roused him from his introspection, and he hopped down.**

**"How did you sleep?" Joon asked mildly, although his mind was moving rapidly already.**

**"Very well," said Butterfly and smiled. Traveler thought that if she could smile she, too, would display that pleasing human facial array. Photonics phase in and out from energy when traveling, to matter when still, but have no ability for communicating other than thought, she reflected. So she made sure to think to him her own pleasure concerning Jonghyun's positive dreams **

*******

**Only half a day of classes were followed by some intensive practices, and use of video to observe strong and weak points in their performance. Astonishingly neither instructor had any negative comments but did all they could to point out instances of their teamwork. They themselves found over and over a few places to practice many times until all were synchronized. At the end of practice, their manager appeared bearing good news about the debut next week and a day, the venue( which was exciting), and when and where the video would drop. Nam Joon went off to call his sister with the brilliantly good news. In fact, all of them found quiet spots to alert family members. When they finally made their way to the communal kitchen after showers, there was a hubub around a large platter of fresh fruit for everyone-on-the-floor, sitting in the middle of the old battered table. Inside of the fridge there was a superfluity of banana milks and yoghurt smoothy drinks. "Pinch me!" exclaimed Moonbin, happily sitting down at the long table. So Shorty did. "Ow," exclaimed Rosie, but he was laughing.**

**Once they had completed their schoolwork, it was lightsout. Nevertheless all stayed awake some small time longer discussing hopes and dreams stirred up by their newly scheduled debut.**

**"Do you believe we can become nationally successful?" asked Jonghyun into the semi-darkness. "There are so many wonderful groups working now," he added. It wasn't that he felt as anxious as he had just a few days ago, but that he was wondering realistically if they had a chance to make it into the "Golden "circle of groups fans held dear, and whose music became part of the background of day to day life. At this point as Butterfly remembered various songs, Traveler was most attentive, parsing the meanings as well as grouping sequences of notes that frequently recurred in these songs. She let these bits of data reveal themselves to Butterfly. "Aha," he whispered to himself.**

**" … ' Course we can," affirmed Rosie. "We are individually attractive, and believe me, we are so personally charming and charismatic, they'll love us," smiling he paused. He breathed deeply putting his thoughts together, "so as a group, I guess people will just go wild about us."**

**"Oh yes, just like our fellow trainees do, always gathered six or seven deep in the hallway listening to us practice," murmured Rowoon snarkily. Happily only Nam Joon heard him. Shorty rearranged his face blandly.**

**"It's difficult to predict group success just from practices," Joon responded. "When a group is actually performing and interacting with an audience certain qualities come out," he was thinking fast because he didn't want Shorty to repeat his negative comment. "I think performing is like dancing with a partner. Alone you might feel like you are a hopeless stumbler, but when you begin to move to the music with her, some kind of interactive magic starts, a kind of 'call' and 'response'."**

**Rosie had sat up in his bunk excitedly, "I get it. When I was acting in the dramas as a child it was very hard to do a scene by myself with just the cameraman and director there, but with other actors or my family watching, it was fun."**

**Rowoon was meditating on their comments. Junghyun was thinking about how an audience could become the performers' partner. Traveler interjected a memory of DEM's oldest and very most successful group performing live. Members had interrupted choreography gracefully to reach out to the audience who had responded with joyous sounds and patterns of waving light sticks. Then too, in that memory, there were moments when the Thirty year old singers sang better than ever before, hitting notes perfectly, seemingly without strain. "It could be a mutual dance, Joon," Butterfly said quietly, then, "I hope it will be like that for us."**

**"So do I," said Moonbin. Rowoon was silently nodding his head. **

**"I feel like that too," added Eun Woo. "Let's imagine our debut going really well like that."**

"**Let's imagine that as we relax into sleep," said Joon conclusively.**

**"Aye, Aye Fearless Leader," whispered his four friends.**

***

**Morning, that is their very early mornings came too soon every day. Evenings did not end early enough for their weary selves. "Just three more days," announced Rowoon as he handed the last mug of tea out in the pre-dawn darkness. "I think I'm getting nervous again," he said half to himself sitting crosslegged on Nam Joon's comforter. Feeling something solid speedily extracted from beneath him he added, 'sorry Joon." **

**Flipping through his notebook, their leader barely nodded. "We have rehearsals from one until seven today." Putting that essential item down, he wrapped both hands around his Mickey Mouse mug and drank meditatively, waiting for another member to say something about pre-debut nerves. **

**Unexpectedly it was Rowoon again, "look at my face, will you?" Moaning he gestured toward his forehead where the inevitable acne had erupted overnight. "How can I debut looking like this?" Tears actually glistened in his large brown eyes.**

**To prevent himself from another tea spilling accident, Joon handed his mug to Butterfly. Then he hugged Shorty, really hugged him as Shorty sniffled and giggled. "It will be all right, said their leader. " If make-up decides in favor of Dermatological intervention, you have time for a quick visit. Really, it's okay."**

**Within Butterfly's presently unused brain circuitry Traveler was again admiring Joon's deft way of giving each individual the support he needed. In fact, she was wholeheartedly wishing that Joon was of her species because Photonics often merged and shared their unique energies But that was not possible so she reined her feelings in. "Mustn't let Junghyun become aware of my … fondness? …?love? … admiration? ' ** **Traveler switched to purely observational mode and Butterfly was completely unaware of her inner turbulence. **

***

**Rosie was feeling excited and happier with every day that passed. As all were gathering garments for Tai Chi, Yoga and strength training, he suddenly leapt on Eun Woo. Not expecting a "baby Roo" attack, Woobie crumpled. Then began tickling Rosie, as perhaps two or three others joined the melee. "Cut it out !" Nam Joon said too loudly, as his startled group stopped and pretended to have hurt feelings. "When you get points off for arriving late," Joon called striding down the hallway, "it's on you." So they stopped playing and scrambled to follow 'His Leadership'. **

*******

**Butterfly found himself falling asleep in class again; it was warm here and outside the slatted blinds the sky was overcast. Grey days like this were made for sleeping in, not rushing to school. Traveler, however was doing the neurological equivalent of kicking him awake. He sent her black thoughts, and she sent back images of clear sunny days by the coast. 'Why?' he thought to her. **

**'Why not?' she thought back, and presented images of joyous young people clutching diplomas in handsome presentation cases. **

**'I give up,' he sighed mentally, and began taking notes. Despite the lackluster weather their class was peacefully alert and reasonably inquisitive about he events of the previous forty years. Somehow time went by and lunch gave everyone a burst of energy. Their rehearsals went well, no, not really, but they got through those rehearsals without a major or minor incident. After showering again, they discovered that the kitchen had been compleely stocked and that two rice cookers had been added. Almost every trainee was gathered in wonderment and now Brainy found DEM's letter to all. **

**Answering the obvious question, Joon read aloud. "It says that lack of evening meals was a disadvantageous cost-cutting move by former executives" Everyone vocalized their sarcastic sounds of astonishment.**

**"You think?!"**

**"Oh really, scrounging for food could have been difficult for their trainees!"**

**"You mean a diet of overprocessed cheap carbs doesn't help build stamina and healthy bodies?"**

**Brainy cleared his throat and continued, " their letter also says that from now on many different kinds of vegetables and fruit will be restocked daily. Oh, and they ask us to be wary of wasting anything and to share when we only want a small amount." Giggles, laughs, snorts, and smirking could be heard from the assembled teens.**

**"As if?"**

**"I can always eat two bananas!"**

**"Is there any meat?"**

**And there was : fish filets, chicken tenders, thinly sliced pork cutlets, packets of all kinds of shrimp and seafood... Everything could be cooked frozen or microwave thawed quickly.**

**"Am I dead? Is this a Trainee Heaven?"**

**"DEM cares about our health?"**

***

**The various group leaders were sorting out a rota for today, and the groups began taking turns preparing and eating happily. _AD ASTRA _had twenty minutes until their turn, and spent it practicing goofy games, because tomorrow they would visit a ** **television Variety afternoon program to be introduced to young viewers, and announce their debut. Traveler became more than a little happy when it was Butterfly's turn to play theskinny cookie eating game. Junghyun was apprehensive and embarassed, since he was opposite Nam Joon. Soon Miss Traveler's subatomic self was vibrating a beam of light in Butterfly's brain. Of course he was unaware, as all humans would be. This was a human game Traveler was delighted for her human to play. So each boy bit and chewed, careful not to drop the tubular chewy stick of nougat and nuts. 'That's it, closer, closer,' Traveler guided, while her human clutched his hands behind his back together tightly. And the for Traveler, anyway, the magic moment arrived. Their lips fluttered together as the cookie was completely consumed.**

"Gack!" both cried out.

**Jonghyun pulled away in embarrassment and surprise as Traveler's intense emotional response was directly communicated to him, Butterfly. His cheeks grew hot, and he knew he was blushing. ' How could he explain that just for a second, the tiny Space Alien in his brain had taken control of him?' But amazingly Joon was only laughing, laughing so much he seemed about to fall against the wall. None of the others seemed to see any ** **little thing out of the ordinary. **

**Traveler was actually singing, "Kiss,Kiss, Human Kiss..." Buterfly shuddered.**

**"Don't want to do that on TV tomorrow," Nam Joon barely got out he was laughing so wholeheartedly. "Should have been you Rosie!" he gasped between fading bursts of laughter. Rosie batted his eyelashes and chortled. **

**Butterfly sighed in relief, and communicated his horror to Traveler, who he felt, was not paying any attention to him at all. 'I am her generous vehicle for Earth exploration,' he thought to himself. 'How could she take advantage of me like that?' Then he tried to picture her as a female, 'because after all she was, and she was making him feel like he was a female too. Did he like that? He was unsure ... gender issues... female inside of male...??,' he reflected. **

**About this time, no more than ninety seconds later, Traveler came back to her rational self. However her waves of bliss kept flowing through Butterfly, who sat down waiting for this to pass. Luckily for his embarassed self, their meal time had arrived and the group rushed off to sample the delicious stockpile. ** **'Junghyun,' Traveler thought to him, 'Junghyun, it's 'k Nam Joon didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, and I will return to my people understanding humans very much better than I ever hoped to.' Smelling pork cutlets, Butterflywas fast forgetting his worry, he was after all very hungry. Traveler would have sighed as happily as humans do, except that sighing required a body. She would apologize to Butterfly for briefly hijacking his lips later.**

*******

**"How could our time performing on stage have gone by so rapidly?" Jonghyun asked his friends as they moved down the hallway back to the dressing room. He had been just as hyped-up as his teammates, both scared and excited. Then there they were on stage and 'doing their song', and people were smiling and moving along with them. It had been the most amazing and wonderful moment of this life so far. His friends were perspiring and hugging as they walked along. Everyone's eyes were bright and liquid. Their cheeks needed no blush for color. Spilling into the dressing room, giggling and smiling hugely, they took off the wonderful clothes, yes, now those clothes were imbued with something special, and sat to remove the heavy stage makeup. **

**"It went well! We did it!" exclaimed Moonbin. Pulling on his hoodie, he plopped down next to Butterfly. "Did you see your mom and sisters?" Wiping off a swath of goop, he continued, "my mother was just sitting nervously until about halfway through our song and then she literally jumped up waving her arms in time to the music. Which was okay because she was sitting in the back..."**

**Rowoon was still slowly hanging up his clothes. "Can you believe I didn't forget a word or a step?" he asked.**

**Brainy turned in his chair, "yeah we did well. I just feel it in my heart."**

**Mr.Manager came in just at that moment. "Congratulations boys, you are now officially a DEM Group. Showing them Twitter's latest, as a photo popped up " _AD ASTRA _are great! And so handsome!" He displayed another screen, "The Cutest" read the text. **

**They pulled out their phones in amazement. There they were with all kinds of positive comments. Eun Woo's hands trembled a little so he propped his phone on his lap. "This is real. This is really happening."**

**Their manager smiled. One or two more company officials, their choreographer and their vocal coach joined them. Quickly the room grew noisy. Butterfly wondered if this was a kind of bubble that was just going to burst, but it didn't. Soon they all left and went out to eat. Some parents came too. It was quite a moment.**

*******

**In the pleasant dimness of their bunks, all were replaying the day in their minds. "You know what was best, Rowoon spoke quietly, "it was knowing that we did it. We worked so hard, and there we were in front of the audience and it was so good to be there at last."**

**Heads nodded. "I love you all," blurted out their Fearless Leader. Traveler started radiating love in response. **

**'Quiet down favorite Alien,' thought Junghyun.**

**Moonbin began to sing. Everyone joined in for a few lines, and then Moonbin wished them a very good night. He closed his eyes dreamily as his teammates all bade him a good night's sleep as well. Five boys slept very soundly, for as long as they could, because they had changed but their routine had not.**


	15. Fare well means go well, and be well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a quiet stretch of South Korean island beach our Traveler bids Butterfly goodbye knowing that she is leaving him with teammates who have grown into brothers.

** "When I first met human beings, their body senses and mass were quite overwhelming. At first I underappreciated their intelligence, but after this stretch of time I now feel we two species have many things in common." Intro. to Conclusions from A Traveler... Travelers Log**

**SEVERAL MONTHS LATER*****

**As Butterfly, Nam Joon, Shorty, Eun Woo and Rosie climbed out of their van, fans began screaming happily, so they were hustled quickly into the television station. "Another day, another interview," laughed Brainy. But the show went well, and they danced a little, and played a truly silly game, and by supper time were back in the van.**

**Tonight they were doing something more interesting - going camping on a tourist spot Island. "First tomorrow morning there will be a few hours of filming, while we pretend it is happening over several days?" asked Eun Woo. "And we do our best to follow the script..." he added.**

**"Of course," resumed Nam Joon. "Then after successfully doing our job, we will be allowed one and a half days to ourselves."**

**"We're staying in the restored American Airstream camper on site?" Rosie's face was split by a wide relaxed smile. "After the camera crew and director leave, we can play?" **

**"I am so looking forward to this. We finished our high school classes, and we've been singing everywhere," murmured a very drowsy Butterfly. **

**No one talked much after that, but as the sun set, lulled by the movement of the vehicle, they fell asleep.**

**********

**Soon after arriving they'd built a fire and were about to cook some little fish, and roast some corn. Overhead the stars were more visible than in Seoul. "Your world is out there Traveler?," thought Butterfly to his inner friend. **

**"Yes," she responded, "part of a star group your astronomers chart. My journey back to base will take not so long a time in my reality as it would for you as a human, and while I travel, I will transcribe my observations and reflections and send them out to all nearby Travelers." It seemed to her that he held his breath as he attempted to imagine the vast area she would travel, so she nudged him with another thought. "Would you like to send a personal message, or song, or poem to the Travelers?"**

**Butterfly breathed in sharply catching the awareness of Joon reading in the firelight and one lantern; "... you okay?" he queried.**

**As Butterfly nodded, Traveler noted again, how unfailingly attentive to the moods, situations, and needs of the group The Brain, their leader was. "Junghun, do you really feel as though Joon is your big brother?" she wondered. "You have said this aloud in interviews when so many human emotions are flooding through you I can scarcely follow them all, much less discern the most dominant?"**

**Turning the fish to cook them evenly and sprinkling a little salt on them as they browned over the flames, Butterfly thought back to her. "You know I have biological siblings, but we five have grown closer than I am with my brother and sisters. So yes, I feel like NamJoon is my brother. In my heart, I know he is my true brother." Traveler pulled back from his conscious mind and pondered. Humans could possess the strong spiritual connections her people Photonics did. They were amazing creatures as they continued to evolve as a species.**

*****

The filming crew arrive just after dawn bringing breakfast sandwhiches and morning beverages too. Blessedly all went very well. 

**By early afternoon the filming crew departed with good footage, more than they had expected. Not only did it seem to be full of genuine banter and lots of believably boyish fun, but they had captured the boy's Reality. They were very much themselves in front of those cameras and their comraderie was sincere. And the sea had been at its loveliest, which would make the sponsors happy. **

***

**"They're gone!" laughed Rosie grabbing a ball for more beachside play. An hour later, they were walking to pick up fried chicken and cold beer. "If we ever get really successful, this kind of simple outing might be just a memory." suggested Moonbin.**

**"Definitely not!" assured Joon, "because if we were to become as famous as the biggest groups we'd buy or at least rent a little out of the way beach house, or place in the mountains and order our chicken and beer. Then we'd head to the most private corner of our hidden retreat and enjoy."**

**"Some Big Groups have to fly off to foreign places to get away," pronounced Rowoon. "Places where no one speaks our language might not feel as restful, even though they look nice on dramas. Like California in America, it looks nice on film, but I read it's really crowded."**

**"Not a problem now," said Woobie as they waited for the light to change. "Race you to the Convenience store!"**

*********

**Still later, having built a second evening fire just like the previous night, and listening to the susurration of the sea, waves small and moon dappled, the friends welcomed the peace of this night they'd been given. A few walked along the shore for a while and then returned to watch the fire crumble to embers.**

**"We've fallen asleep, big partiers that we are ", joked their leader. So they roused themselves and drowsily went in to the charmingly refitted camper. Rowoon chose the hammock tonight, and was gently rocking to the rhythm of the still audible waves. Joon and Butterfly had the 'vee-twin berth', heads together feet out. In the camper's back Eun Woo and Rosie slept in the bunks. Traveler noticed that Butterfly was dreaming very actively. Around him his teammates were drifting peacefully in deep sleep. She contacted base, for her orders were to leave from this place.**

She'd depart t**omorrow, in fact. She was confident that Butterfly had passed through his crisis, and that with his good doctor/therapist and new brothers, he would face future struggles with sufficient support. Most Sentient Beings needed membership in a group, and worked best in co-operation. In fact he had begun to write the poetry and music that the Photonic Council had predicted he would before she set out for this planet. Warmth flooded her being as she reviewed the last earth months. To assist in the growth that would set another Sentient Being on the path to fulfilling their Destiny was her Life's Work, after all.**

**Travelers had discovered across the vast universe in the aeons of their exploration, that often One would contribute hugely to their culture despite crippling early in Life by physical and emotional assaults or deficiencies. So to support other Sentient species and their worlds' wide evolution, Photonics could choose the profession of Traveler. As each Traveler left their Connected Being it had been found that having helped them build co-operation and support among their community members was the most important factor in the survival of an individual or a group or an entire Species. **

** The Earth turned on its axis, and moved through and with the Solar System, as these friends and brothers slept. 'I think humans might call what i have tried to build here - Love' ...thought Miss TRaveler to her own self. **

**When morning came and EunWoo as usual got up and made tea, the fellows sat cross-legged unwilling to leave the warmth and comfort of their beds. With blankets draped over their shoulders, they chatted f** **they didn't need to get up. **

** "Sleep well?" asked Moonbin of the much-tousled group. Nodding and shaking wild locks off their foreheads, each was deciding whether or not to reveal details of vivid dreams. Butterfly spoke first. **

**"I dreamed that a beautiful but very tiny Being from another planet came to visit me, because our thoughts were on the same wavelength and frequency. She just knew from Lightyears away that I was thinking of suicide, and that I thought that I was really incompetent and unworthy of any one's love." He had spoken very softly, but every single friend stayed so quiet that the waves sounded louder. So he went on, "she was smaller than a molecule, and had traveled in an energetic bubble along tendrils of Dark Energy that hold the universe together and transfer energy in ways we people, even our best astrophysicists, can't begin to imagine. Because she was even smaller than an atom, she slipped into my mind and began to communicate with me through thoughts. When I was too hard on my self she showed me my better points. When I was emnbarassed, or anxious, or frightened, or thinking of quitting, she helped me cope. I think of her as my angel, or a sister soul. Because of her I am healing from the really painful things that happened to me as a child, especially by actively working with my therapist. Because of her encouragement I let myself trust and make friends with all of you. Because of my tiny angel I can now tell all of you, that I love you, brothers."**

**If Traveler could have wept with joy and love, she would have now. For she had done nothing to encourage this outpouring from Butterfly but she knew it was his testament for her to share with all the Traveler Species. As a farewell she activated the brainchemicals which would fill him with well being and whispered the thought that he would learn to activate his brain himself in meditation and through his music. "Fare thee very very well Junghyun. We will always be connected, and you can always think to me, it will just take longer to receive my response." **

*****Butterfly felt her leave his mind and knew she had set out on her unfathomable journey home. But just at that moment he had four brothers embracing him, everyone of them with tears glistening in his eyes as he himself did. His family and he himself would be all right, because they had each other.**

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As our Traveler reenters her energetic bubble and begins a journey of several Light Years back to her galaxy, you might ask why I didn't create several travelers. However I wanted to illustrate how help for a mentally wounded young person, such as the wonderful singer, poet, and performer Kim Jongyhun, from the famous group[ SHINee could survive his Depression and issues with professional medical help and, as in this story the friendship and assistance of an infinitesimally small but vastly intelligent Being like an angel, or Guiding Spirit, or even an Alien from another World. May he rest in peace. If you remember this little story at all, think of it as a Psychological Fairy Tale. Rather than a Magical Godmother with a sparkling wand remaking Cinder's life with just a wave, in this story you met a conscious, sentient Photon who helped heal a Trainee Kpop Idol's Depression, and fell in love with Humanity.


End file.
